


Seeing Past La Vie en Rose

by auroradream



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, Community: kradambigbang, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-02
Updated: 2012-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-11 05:51:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroradream/pseuds/auroradream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before moving to LA to live out his dream of being a rock star Adam was just the chauffeur's son in the eyes of Brad Bell. Now he is back in Dallas for the holidays and has finally caught Brad's eye, much to the consternation of Brad's family and fiance. It falls on Kris to distract Adam away from Brad, only Kris has never had to fake his affection for Adam. Adam soon learns that sometimes the person you have always wanted isn't the person you have always needed. Based on the 1954 movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047437/"><i>Sabrina</i></a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing Past La Vie en Rose

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction. The plot for _Sabrina_ belongs to Paramount Pictures and all celebrities belong to themselves.  
>  **Notes:** Written for the 2012 round of [KradamBigBang](http://kradambigbang.livejournal.com) with lovely art done by [deannawesson](http://deannawesson.livejournal.com). Go visit her master post [here](http://deannawesson.livejournal.com/24630.html) and share the love! Thank you to [balefully](http://balefully.livejournal.com) for making sure my porn doesn't suck and a huge round of thanks to the KradamBangers Mailing List for all the support and for keeping my paranoia levels down to a dull roar. Beta-ed by [brokenscreamx](http://brokenscreamx.livejournal.com).

  


_Summer, 2001, Dallas, Texas_

The first time that Kris Allen ever saw Adam Lambert was the summer he had turned fifteen and he and his family moved from Arkansas to Texas after his father remarried. The newly joined families were moving into what once was his new step-mother’s childhood home; her father had left the house to her after his death. Kris was amazed at the size of the huge home and knew that it would take weeks for him to remember where all the rooms were and that wasn’t even taking the extensive grounds into account. They were just outside of Dallas, Texas and he was eager to learn the new city. Arkansas and Texas shared a boarder, but Kris felt that it might just as well be a whole new country for how different things were. 

Brad Bell, his new step-brother, had nothing but complaints as they all climbed out of the airport limo and surveyed the new house, “Mom, I don’t understand why Neil and,” Brad fluttered a hand at Kris and Daniel who were gawking at their surro undings, “couldn’t move into the house with you and me! We’re in the middle of nowhere here at Grandfather’s house! I’ll never have anything to do!” Brad continued to flutter his hands and complain at his mother as a tall strawberry blonde man walked towards them.

He was around Kris’ father’s age and was dressed in a suit, a driving cap under one arm. “Mrs. Bell, or should I say Mrs. Allen,” he added with an impish grin, “You should have let me pick you all up from the airport, it wouldn’t have been a problem!”

Sandra Allen-Bell gave a demure smile as she allowed the man to take her carryall from her hands, “Eber, I know that Adam and Neil just got here; how could I in good conscience pull you away from your sons!” She turned to Kris and Daniel, “This is Eber Lambert, he was my father’s driver. He has been with the family for what feels like forever now and has graciously agreed to stay with your father and I. Eber, I woul d like you to meet my new step-sons, Kris and Daniel Allen.”

He grinned down at the two boys, “My sons are staying with me for the summer. My Neil,” he smiled at Neil Allen, “is around your age Kris. I hope you boys will get along.”

The rest of the late morning was filled with Kris unpacking his bags before he ventured out to explore the house and grounds. It was a huge plantation style home. There were indoor pools and tennis courts to go along with the outdoor ones, extensive gardens that seemed to have their own fleet of gardeners, a large garage with all sorts of different luxury cars that Mr. Lambert was in charge of, and this fountain where a large goldfish swam. All around the house and grounds a veritable army of people were rushing around, putting up tents and tables, flowers being arranged, and Kris even saw an old style bandstand being built on the large patio. Kris soon found himself outside the garage watching as two teens washed a bla ck Rolls Royce amidst all the controlled chaos. 

“That’s Adam and Neil Lambert,” Brad said as he sidled up to Kris. “Neil is a sarcastic bastard who will be rather amusing once he gets out of his bratty tween faze.”

Kris didn’t turn to look at Brad, his eyes instead caught on the older teen. He was tall and kinda chubby, but it made him look solid instead of doughy, his strawberry blonde hair was darker than Eber’s, and he seemed to be covered in freckles. “What about Adam?”

“Adam?” Brad looked up from where he had started picking his nails, “Oh, he’s cool; killer singing voice when you can catch him singing.” With that Brad seemed to lose interest in the conversation and grabbed Kris by the wrist, “Come on! I want to show you where Mom is going to throw the party next week!”

“Party?” Kris stumbled after Brad---suddenly all the activity starting to make sense, his head turning to glance back at Adam and his br other, the two of them laughing, “What for?”

“Doesn’t matter! Mom throws one just about every month!”

  


Sandra Allen-Bell’s summer parties were things to be raved about year around. People began planning for them almost from the beginning of fall until just before the very first party to set the season, the Memorial Day Gala. This year was also the chance for the socialites of Dallas to meet the new members of the family and for connections to be made. The night of the party was clear and beautiful with bright stars shining down on everyone and a soft breeze just barely ruffling the leaves of the surrounding trees.

Kris and Daniel had begun the party close to their father and being introduced to so many new people that eventually Kris just let their names wash over him. Some of the people already knew his father from when he was courting---and how weird was it for him to think of his father using the word courting---Sandra. Eventually Brad showed up and began to introduce Kris and Daniel around to those attending who were closer in age to them. But soon thereafter Brad got distracted by someone he knew across the room and Daniel drifted off to talk with someone he had been introduced to by Brad.

Daniel was always the more outgoing of the two Allen boys and Kris at this moment envied his brother’s easy social graces. The younger boy was already making fast friends and seemed to be able to start a conversation with anyone. This was unlike Kris who would start to blush and stammer when first introduced to anyone. With that in mind, Kris quietly drifted over to the side of the dance floor where tree branches overhung part of the floor, a soda in hand that he was quietly sipping while people watching. A rustling above him caused Kris to look up into the branches of the tree where he could just barely make out the silhouette of a figure lying on the branches. 

“Ah, I see you’ve found Adam’s hiding spot,” came from right beside Kris, surprising him enough to spill a little of his soda onto his hand. He turned while sucking the spilled soda from his skin to see Neil Lambert standing right next to him. Neil was dressed down for the event, only wearing a button shirt with a tie and dress slacks; he looked like he could have been part of the wait staff and Kris wasn’t sure if he was or wasn’t. “Adam refuses to actually come to these parties, but every single time you can find him sitting up in that tree, always watching your new step-brother.”

Kris looked back up at Adam in the tree and followed his gaze and sure enough he was looking at Brad who was flirting heavily with the boy he was standing with. As it was, no one seemed really surprised to see Brad flirting so blatantly with a boy. Sure there were a few side glances in his direction that weren’t too friendly, but those mostly seemed to be coming from the older crowd and others who Brad was ignoring. 

“People don’t... I mean, he’s...?” Kris stammered as he watched h is step-brother.

“Gay as a daffodil that boy is,” Neil said with aplomb. “I thought you knew?” Kris only shook his head as he took a hasty gulp of his soda. Neil nodded and then paused looking at Kris almost as if he could see right through him, “You don’t have a problem with that do you?”

“No!” Kris shouted out, his voice carried during the quiet moment in the music and all eyes turned to look at him and Neil. Kris felt his entire face turning red in embarrassment and he tried to hide it behind his cup and hands. Neil just burst out laughing and clapped Kris on the shoulder.

Neil smiled at him, “Don’t worry about it, I didn’t figure you did. I’ve seen you watching Adam.”

Kris’ blush burned red anew, “I...uh... well...” 

“You’re not out?”

“I’m not sure?” Kris had to grin as Neil raised his eyebrow in question. “I mean, I don’t really know. Sure there have b een a few girls who I’ve liked at school and this girl back in Arkansas who I’m maybe dating,” his voice raising at the end in question, “but I mean, there have been a few boys also?”

Neil just grinned larger at Kris, “Well then! You and I will talk about girls, especially this girl you are maybe dating, and if you ever need to talk about boys you can either talk to Brad or Adam! They will certainly be joyously glad to talk about boys. Please, make them talk to you about boys!”

With that Kris felt himself truly relax for the first time that night as he and Neil laughed together. Nothing terribly exciting happened for the rest of the event except for when Brad pulled the boy he had been flirting with away from the party. He sent a wink towards Kris and Neil as he passed them and barely flinched when Adam slid out from the tree behind him. He barely had time to toss off a distracted “Hey” at Adam before his attention was pulled away by the boy who was firmly pulling Brad towards the gardens. Kris watched as Adam’s entire body drooped as he slunk away from the party towards the garage and his family’s apartments.

  


Summer ended for the Allen-Bells with another party much like the Memorial Day Gala. It actually mirrored the event completely except for how Kris and Neil stuck together the entire time. Kris and Neil had become close friends during the summer months with Kris enjoying Neil’s brand of sarcasm and Neil loving the way that Kris was all Southern manners hiding a biting wit. They people watched and then watched as Brad dragged a boy off, Adam coming into view just as they passed, Brad waving airily at him before continuing on, and Adam taking off to the garage. Kris stayed for just a bit longer before he pulled himself away from Neil, his intention to say goodbye to Adam, who was leaving in the morning for LA. This might be the last moment that Kris could get alone with the older boy who has filled his thoughts for the s ummer, moving Kris from potentially bi to definitely bi. He wanted one last chance to make some sort of connection between them so that while Adam was away he might casually think of Kris, or at least Kris could get his phone number and have an invitation to call every once in a while.

As he came closer to the garage and its apartments he could hear engines running. For the most part it was a soft purr, nothing anyone would notice usually, but with so many on at the same time the soft purr had become a bit of a rumble. Plus, he could hear the occasional sputter that came from his father’s old Dodge that needed a new carburetor. Then he heard a cough coming from inside the closed up garage. He didn’t even really think as he threw open the door and hit the switch to open the garage doors. 

“Hello?” he coughed into his elbow, trying to keep from breathing in the noxious fumes. “Anyone in here?” Another cough pulled his attention farther i nto the garage and he followed the sound while turning off the on cars in his path. It was underneath the old, sputtering Dodge where he found Adam, laying on the ground and looking as if he wanted the concrete to swallow him whole. “Adam?”

Adam crawled out from under the truck, his clothes now stained and a smudge of grease across the bridge of his nose. “Hey Kris,” Adam murmured, his voice hoarse. 

“What,” Kris coughed again, “what were you doing?”

“Oh, well,” Adam began to blush, “I wanted to maybe see if I couldn’t figure out how to fix your dad’s truck before I left, a bit of a gift, I guess?”

Kris raised an eyebrow at him like he had seen Neil do a hundred times over the summer, “Really?”

Adam just gave a jaunty grin before he coughed again, though this time the cough didn’t seem to be stopping and Adam ended up hunched over, trying to pull air into his lungs. Kris put his arm aroun d Adam’s shoulders, giving him support as he tried to breathe in clean air.

“Hey, let’s get out of here. I’ll help you upstairs,” Kris began to herd Adam out of the garage and up to the apartments above. He saw Neil out of the corner of his eye and shook his head at the other boy’s inquiring look. Neil just nodded and went into the garage, shutting off the engines for the remaining turned on cars. Kris felt Adam lean more and more into him as they went up the stairs to Adam’s room.

By the time they reached the room Adam was leaning almost all of his weight onto Kris making him struggle with his weight. “Sorry I’m so fat,” he murmured as they stumbled into his room.

Kris just shook his head as he lowered Adam on to his bed, “You’re not fat.” Adam just scoffed as he fell back on his bed. His eyes closed as Kris knelt to take off his shoes. When Kris stood again Adam was asleep, his mouth slightly open as he breath ed deeply. The room was a messy chaos of someone packing up to move. There were boxes and suitcases all over the floor and Kris could spy Adam’s tickets on his desk. He gently placed a blanket over Adam before he went to the desk and wrote a quick note to Adam.

> _Adam,  
>  I’m not sure what really happened tonight, but I’m glad I was there to help you. I hope that LA works out for you and that you stay in touch. Here is my phone number, give me a call anytime.  
>  I’ll miss you.  
>  Kris _   
> 

It would be eight years before he would actually see Adam Lambert again in person.

  


_Fall, 2001, Los Angeles, California_

It had been the first summer that Adam had spent at the Bell Plantation that he had fallen in love with Brad Bell. He had been 16 to Brad’s 12 and yeah, it kinda made him feel like a perv back then, but Adam knew that Brad was the boy for him. Or well, he would be once Adam was perfect for Brad. He just needed to get rid of his extra weight, maybe change his hair, and actually become someone worthy of the amazing Bradley Bell. Every summer Adam had tried to get Brad to hang out with him, but Brad had always seemed more interested in arguing with Neil or flirting with the other summer boys in the surrounding upscale homes. 

Adam knew that school wasn't for him in any fashion, but he had promised to give it a try for at least a semester. He and Neil had quietly bet that he wouldn't even make it a week. Adam was planning on trying for the musical theater program at UCLA but who was he kidding, Adam knew that he just wasn’t cut out for school. He had hated high school with an undying passion and he doubted that going to college in LA would change his mind. That said, Adam knew that he just had to put in a little bit of time to appease his parents before going out and making it on his own.

The fact that Adam would be in California verses Texas was the major bonus though for him. As much as Adam loved visiting with his father and living with the Bells for the summers, he felt stifled by the conservative atmosphere. Plus, he knew that if he had the right people around him, fellow artists and musicians, that he would shed his ugly duckling phase. He would lose the twenty or more pounds, dye his hair, and rock some fierce make-up that would make Brad or anyone pay attention to him the way that they all were supposed to!

In the end Adam was proud that he lasted at least five weeks in school before he dropped out. That had ended up beating what Neil had bet and Adam got his twenty bucks in the mail after he found his new apartment in WeHo. It was little better than a hole in the wall and he was tempted to make the cockroaches pay partial rent but the fuckers refused to comment on the notes that he left them next to the kitchen sink. 

The first few months were a living hell and his closet sized apartment was the center of it all. His upstairs neighbors constantly banged on the floor, the apartment below would randomly bang on their ceiling if they thought Adam was being too loud, and the couple living right next to Adam had such loud sex that he was tempted to clap at the end of it. Then his refrigerator began leaking one morning while he was off looking for a job and totally destroyed his floor and the super seemed to be MIA once he got back. After a panicked phone call to Eber, who had no idea how to help---“Adam, I am a chauffeur for a living; I could tell you how to fix a faulty starter but fridges are a little outside of my retinue”--- Adam decided that the evening would be much better spent out.

“Danielle, you have to go out with me,” Adam whined into his phone as he attempted to find an outfit for the evening.

A huff came from the other end of the phone, “I have to do no such thing Adam Mitchel Lambert! I, unlike you, have a test in the morning because it is Wednesday night and not a Friday or Saturday!” 

Danielle and Adam had been friends since middle school and when the decisions about colleges began they both knew they had to at least be in the same city if not the same school. LA had been at the top of the lists, but they had alternate plans for New York, Chicago (Chicago had mainly been Danielle. Adam was willing---read grudgingly--- to go but he would have complained the entire time during th e winters he just knew. He enjoyed the snow as much as anyone else, but he preferred to visit it, not set up camp and have an extended stay.), and Portland. 

When Adam had dropped out of school though, Danielle decided to stick it out for at least a year, mainly because her parents would have killed her. And for the most part the two friends were able to stay close and go out often. But there were times, like now, when Adam wanted and could go out but Danielle was stuck in her dorm room.

Adam heard Danielle sigh over the phone, “Hon, you know that I would love to, but seriously... I have this test in the morning and I just can’t.”

He nodded before he replied, “Yeah I get it. I was just hoping to not look like quite as much of an idiot as I’m going to. Nothing quite like a fat, ginger, fag walking into a gay bar all by himself.”

“Ugh, Adam, you are not fat! And like having your hag at your side is going to make you look any less of an idiot in your eyes? Bitch, please! Now,” he heard her take a breath, “put on your black jeans, the ones that make your legs look ridiculously long, your gray Bowie shirt, and your ‘Fuck Me’ boots. And go out there and have a good time! For me, okay?” 

“Thanks Dani,” he laughed. “I’m still gunna miss having you there with me though.”

“You’re gunna have too much fun dancing with hot boys to even notice I’m not there!” and then the phone went silent as she had hung up on him. 

Adam was still laughing softly when he put down his phone and looked in the mirror; he was wearing the exact outfit that Danielle had described. Letting out another chuckle, Adam picked up his eyeliner and began to outline his eyes. It was almost like war paint for Adam, the whole process of putting on makeup to go out, it helped to hide his acne scarred skin and the freckles that covered him head to toe, and going out t o a gay bar in WeHo was definitely like going to war. 

He planned to hit Freddies and maybe another bar/dance club in the area, but he usually liked the atmosphere of Freddies the best out of all the other clubs that he and Danielle had tried out so far. The music was loud but it didn’t make him feel like he was going deaf, the bartenders didn’t have too light of a hand when mixing, and the boys were hot. Plus, they occasionally had drag shows that were just amazing. An even larger point in Freedies favor was the fact that the two of them never got carded when there.

By the time Adam actually got into the club, the line not too horrible for a Wednesday evening for once, his high from talking to Danielle had worn off and all he wanted to do was drink and dance the night away while forgetting about his horrible apartment with its fucked up fridge and his lack of a good job, or any job at the moment. He had finally wormed his way to the bar and actually fou nd a stool to sit on, when while he was waiting for the bartender to acknowledge his existence, a dark auburn haired woman fell into his lap, causing Adam to grab at her waist to keep her from falling off. Adam had to laugh as the woman tried to right herself while staying planted across Adam’s thighs.

The woman turned to look at Adam, laughter bubbling out of her mouth, “Hi! I meant to stand next to you, not sit on you!” He could tell she was a bit drunk, but the woman’s smile was infectious. 

“Well, might as well use me as a chair as there aren’t that many others around!”

She laughed again, “My name’s Scarlett. You should come join me and my friends once we actually get served!” The last part of the statement was addressed to a passing bartender who had the good graces to look slightly embarrassed that he had been flirting with a guy a few stools down instead of actually working. 

He turned to Adam and Scarlett while drying his hands on a towel and asked, “What would you like?”

“Six, no make it seven, shots of tequila. You like tequila, right?” she asked Adam before turning back to the bartender. “Two Cosmos, one Jack and Coke, a Gin and Tonic, ---Do you have banana liqueur? Fantastic!--- a Yellow Bird, a Sam Adams, and whatever he’s having.” 

The bartender turned to Adam and he grinned out “A Vodka martini please.” He then turned back to Scarlett as the bartender went to make their drinks, who was still happily sitting in his lap, “So, I’m Adam by the way.”

Scarlett grinned, “Nice to meet you!” She slipped off his lap and grabbed the tray that the bartender has put the drinks on. “Wanna clear the way through the crowd for me? We’re heading back towards that table there where the bleach blonde fae boy is sitting.”

“He know you call him that?” Adam smirked as he led the way to the table.

“He loves it!”

“Who loves what?” asked one of the girls sitting at the table.

“Tommy loves it when I call him the bleach blonde fae boy that he is!” Scarlett cheerfully shouted as she put the drinks down on the table over the indignant squawk coming from the blonde who was obviously Tommy. “Everyone, this is Adam! Adam this is everyone! You have Lee, my finance, Terrance, Alisan, Raja, and that is Tommy!” She then sat herself in Lee’s lap and picked up a shot glass. “Shots, bitches!”

Alisan, who was on the other end of the round booth scooted in closer to Tommy to give Adam room to sit. He grinned and sat next to her, handing over a shot glass. They all held out their shots and Lee cheered out “Salute!” Everyone echoed Lee before they tossed back their shots and slammed the glasses down. 

Alisan gave a grimace as she picked up her Gin and Tonic and chased the tequila with it. “So Adam, tell us yo ur story! I saw you walk in with a not so ‘here to party’ look on your face.”

He shrugged while sipping his martini, “Came to LA for school. Realized very quickly that school is so not the place for me and now I’m living in an apartment that I swear my mom left crying and I’m now trying to find a job.”

Everyone around the table nodded their heads, their own stories similar to his. “What were you doing in school?” Tommy asked, leaning around Alisan to see Adam.

Adam rolled his eyes at himself as he responded, “Musical Theatre.”

There was a moment of silence in the group. The loud oontz, oontz, oontz of the music continued around them as Scarlett, Terrance, and Raja seemed to have a whole conversation between the three of them just using their eyes. Raja raised an eyebrow making Terrance and Scarlett both nodded. Terrance then looked Adam up and down, a sly grin slowly spreading across his face before he pointed at Scarlett and said, “Fifty he can nail it.”

“No bet!” Lee and Scarlett shouted before dissolving into laughter and kissing. 

Raja finally leaned forward, her elbow on her crossed knee, “What those three are all giggling about is that a show that we are all working on is in desperate need of a stellar tenor and we think you fit the bill. How do you feel about dying your hair?”

Adam barely paused before he laughed, “Anything is better than being ginger!”

  


From that point on, Adam could swear his life was this movie montage of events. It started with Sutan, Raja out of tuck and heels, taking him out to get his hair dyed and two hours later Adam was now a deep chocolate brunette with matching brows. They went shopping in and around WeHo and Adam was introduced to Cassidy and Jake, two designers who Adam picked up an amazing leather jacket from. Makeup was generally kept the same as Sutan proclaimed that Adam’s technique was actually rather good. Adam did swear to defer to Sutan on any wild face painting in the future.

He did in fact nail the audition for a part in a touring production of _Hair_ that Scarlett, Alisan, and Terrance were in. Sutan was doing the makeup for the show, naturally and Tommy ended up being a rehearsal musician with the group, and a kick as s guitarist. For about a nanosecond Adam contemplated a crush before he found out that Tommy was straight. And while Adam still had his hopeless crush on Brad, he wasn’t going to add hopeless crush on a straight boy to his list of bad crushes. 

The whole crush on Brad came out one night before they were about to leave for Europe and Adam and Tommy were crashed out on the floor of Tommy’s apartment, everyone else having left hours before. They were just passing a bottle of vodka between the two of them when Tommy asked about the picture in Adam’s apartment.

“Dude, who are the guys you have a pic of hanging at your place? I mean, everyone else you’ve talked about. I swear I could pick your brother out from a crowd just by how you described his laugh, but those guys, nothing!” he swung his arm out in a dramatic fashion, narrowly missing hitting Adam in the face.

Adam sighed and took a deep gulp of the vodka in his hands before pas sing it back to Tommy, “They are Kris and Brad.” The picture was of the two of them in evening wear from one of Sandra’s galas; Brad was smiling flirtatiously at the camera while Kris was looking slightly off, his gaze on something else outside of the view of the camera. “They’re step-brothers and damned if I didn’t, do, didn’t... Ugh, do, have the biggest crush ever on Brad. But he doesn’t see me at all. I’ve known him since I was sixteen and he has never even really seen me! I mean, half the reason… part of the reason I was all for LA was to get away from Dallas and make something of myself. Become better than what I was there and be this amazing person that he would have to see when I got back.”

Tommy just laid there for a moment before responding, “Would you really want him if he only noticed you if you’d changed?”

He just shook his head, “That wouldn’t matter as long as he just wanted me as much as I want him.” 

They ended up touring in Europe for around eight months and Adam learned some amazing things while there. The hookers in Amsterdam could smoke and drink just about any American under the table, that there is always Paris, that he definitely prefers topping a cute boy, and that Finnish boys give fantastic head.

“Oh god,” Adam moaned while trying to keep his knees from collapsing out from under him while he leaned against the back wall of the club. He could feel the vibrations of the music moving through the wall and into his body as the boy on his knees before him tried to suck his brain from his dick.

Mischievous blue eyes looked up at him from under pale lashes as Sauli, the boy on his knees, lightly flicked the tip of his tongue against the underside of Adam’s dick. Adam tried to keep from thrusting into the hot mouth surrounding him, but when Sauli’s eyes fluttered and he moaned at the motion, Adam began to gently thrust in and ou t of the wet suction. 

One of his hands moved to palm the back of Sauli’s head, his fingers twisting in the blonde strands, the other ended up braced against the wall to give him a little more leverage to thrust into the hot mouth. Sauli’s own hands were gripped tight around Adam’s hips as he took more and more of Adam’s cock into his mouth. 

“Can you take all of me?” Adam husked out, his voice dropping in register. “Are you that hungry for cock that you would let me choke you full of it?” At Sauli’s moan Adam petted at his face, “Deep breath then,” and he pulled back to let Sauli get a good breath of air before he pushed right back in and down into his throat. The tight clench and barely there gags brought Adam right to brink and he pulled back and began to come in Sauli’s mouth. As Sauli swallowed around him Adam was just aware enough to feel Sauli’s hands pull away from his hips and start to tug frantically at his own p ants. 

Adam pulled out from Sauli’s mouth, making the boy whine, and dropped to his own knees as he pushed Sauli’s fumbling hands away from his pants and tore the zipper apart. Adam reached in and barely touched his dick before Sauli gave a soft cry and came all over the both of them. Both of them were still gasping and on their knees when they made eye contact and began to giggle.

Adam leaned forward and kissed Sauli, tasting himself in the blonde’s mouth. When they pulled back from the kiss Adam helped to right his clothes as Sauli did the same for him. They stood and Adam wiped his hands off in a tissue he had stuffed in his pocket before dropping it to the floor and throwing his arm around Sauli’s shoulder. “Wanna dance, baby?”

Sauli grinned up at Adam, “Sure.”

The two of them ended up dating for most of the rest of the tour, Sauli following them around from city to city for a bit. They imploded pretty specta cularly though when Sauli questioned Adam having the picture of Kris and Brad with him. Sure it was folded down the middle and really, only the side with Brad really got looked at, but Adam carted the picture everywhere. It had become a bit of a talisman for him. When Adam had explained who the two of them were, Sauli had frowned before scoffing.

“Why do you torture yourself with a photo of a boy you will never have? I doubt he will care that you have carried his picture with you all over the world. It makes you seem rather desperate, yes? I mean, you have me and I like you. Isn’t that better than some silly American boy who you haven’t seen in almost two years?”

For a moment Adam could have sworn that all the air had been sucked from the room before he was able to take a deep breath and carefully tuck the picture away again in his wallet. He gathered his things, patting his pockets while Sauli looked on in confusion. When Adam reached th e door he finally began to look concerned. “I think you shouldn’t come to the next show Sauli,” was all Adam said before he opened the door and walked out.

Maybe he was a bit desperate and silly, but for some reason he still felt like he had to hold on to the idea of Brad. This idea that he could become his true self, something he felt closer to being each day, and that Brad, the boy from back home would finally see who Adam really was. Not just the chauffeur's son, but something, someone worth looking at.

Just a few weeks later the whole group was back in LA celebrating the end of the tour and frantically trying to catch up on rest while simultaneously looking for new jobs. While taking shifts at one of the many Starbucks in town Adam began singing at a Cabaret a few nights a week much to the delight of his friends who used it as an excuse to drink and cheer him on. Everyone was finding jobs and seemed to be settling in place while still being wild and free. New people were even being added to the group as they settled in and threw parties. In came Ashley, a fantastic bassist who was often found jamming with Tommy and Isaac who played the drums. Danielle had finally given up on school at that point and joined in on many of the festivities between her own attempts at finding acting jobs.

  


_Winter, 2005, Los Angeles, California_

“A veritable bunch of theatre fags and hags!” Scarlett shouted out one night before announcing that she and Lee were driving to Vegas to get hitched because she wasn’t “going to be one of those fucking bridezilla bitches, no stress, no mess!”

After all the congratulations were given out the logistics of the trip began to get planned out. A caravan of cars drove the four hours to Las Vegas where Adam served as maid of honor, and caught the bouquet. He laughed as he held the fake flowers in his hands, but at the same time Sauli’s words from while he was on tour flashed across his mind again. 

Back in LA Adam moved in with Tommy, the two of them meshing as roommates in a way that neither of them really expected, and picked up a position in the ch orus and as an understudy in the LA production of Wicked. He enjoyed the show and loved the people, but more and more Adam was realizing that theatre wasn’t what he wanted. What he really loved was singing at the Cabaret; more and more he began to realize that all he wanted to do was be out in front, singing his own stuff, people wanting to hear him and him alone. 

He got introduced to a guy named Monte who was a fucking amazing guitarist and seemed to know how to shop around demos and get people to listen. The two of them worked amazingly well together, even writing some songs that got used in the demos that were sent to different studios. But it ended up crumbling down around Adam as he realized that Monte was selling the songs and not cutting Adam in and when he had promised to give his demos to a friend of his they were empty promises. By this point, Adam had given up his job with Wicked, banking on something pulling through but now he had nothing.

  


_Summer, 2009, Black Rock City, Nevada_

It was Scarlett, with the help of Alisan, who planned a trip that would at least give Adam a change in scenery and the rest of them a chance to relax and rejuvenate. This time it was out to Burning Man to spend ten days out in the desert. The drive out to the playa was long and Adam spent a good portion of it in quiet contemplation of what had been happening for the past few months and years. He knew he needed to make a change, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it, every bad thing that had been happening was crowding around in his brain making it hard to come up with any new ideas.

“Home sweet tent!” Alisan crowed when she tumbled out of the van they had all driven out in. 

Terrance laughed as he climbed out behind her, “Girl, you can rhapsodize about t he tent as much as you want after we actually put the damned thing up!”

She flapped her hands at him in a dismissing manner before she wrapped her arms around Adam, “You are going to love it honey! Let’s get the tents up, get changed, and start exploring!”

Adam couldn’t help but laugh at the enthusiasm as he wrapped his own arms around her, “I’m sure!”

Their campsite was a mess of mismatched tents and lean-tos, but they fit in with all the other campsites. There was good natured bickering that went back and forth between Sutan and Danielle as they built one tent, Tommy chiming in every once in a while. Terrance and Alisan were busy with their own tent, leaving Adam to unload the van of their bottles of water, food, and sunscreen. 

Scarlett, though she helped to plan the trip, thought better of going since she was pregnant and so close to her due date. “Adam,” she had said just before they left, “You better be back before thi s kid pops out of me, cause you are going to be his god-father.” Incredibly touched, all Adam could do was hug her tightly before promising to make it back before the birth. In solidarity with his wife, Lee stayed behind as well, wishing them a good time.

By the time all the tents up were up, everyone had started sweating and feeling the dust begin to gather on their skin. Danielle and Alisan pulled Adam into a tent to help cover him in sunscreen and change clothes. While Adam still had lingering body image issues, he couldn’t help but feel the energy of the camp and how non-judgmental it all was. Soon, he found himself in cut off shorts, boots, goggles, and a headband as his only clothing. 

The rest of the day was spent riding bikes around the playa and talking with others who were veterans and newbies of Burning Man. Bottles of water were never far from hand and every person they talked to made sure they were staying hydrated. Slowly, Adam could fee l his brain start to calm down and just be present. The days faded together into a haze of drugs, dancing, music, new and old friends, and being one with the world. 

“Danielle,” Adam poked his friend one evening close to the end of their stay. “Danielle, I’m gunna go for a walk and maybe stay out and sleep at the temple.”

Danielle gave him a sleepy thumbs up before she face planted back into her sleeping bag, “I’ll tell Tommy when he comes in later.”

“Thanks,” he said before patting her on the head and slipping out of the tent. 

Three fresh water bottles tucked into the basket of his bike along with a blanket, Adam peddled out and around the playa. He didn’t go far, but enough away that the sounds of the camps were muted and light wasn’t so bright. The blanket got pulled out from the basket and spread out so that Adam could lay back and look up at the sky. He could still feel the drugs working their way through his syste m, but Adam felt startlingly sober as he watched the stars above him. A shooting star swept across the sky, the bright tail burning the sky for long seconds before it faded away. 

In that moment, Adam had this moment of clarity. “If anything is ever going to happen, I have to be the one to take those steps. No more middle men, just me.” Another burning star blazed across the sky, and he took it as affirmation from the universe that that was the right track for him to take.

  


“Ugh, I feel like I could sleep until next year!” Danielle moaned as she collapsed onto Tommy and Adam’s couch. “I mean, the whole week and a half was amazing and so much fun, but damn, my liver needs a break and I still think I’m sweating out the last of the ‘shrooms that Terrance brought. Who knew boy had such amazing connections?”

Adam laughed as he dumped his bags onto the floor in the entryway; Tommy head-butted against him since he was blocking the other man from moving farther into the room. The blonde’s own bags fell from his hands as he wrapped his arms around Adam in a hug and ground his forehead into Adam’s shoulder. “I think someone is a sleepy kitty!” Adam patted at the arms wrapped around him.

“Fuck off,” came muffled from behind him. Adam began a shuffling dance forw ard with Tommy still holding tight to him. When they finally made it into the living room where Danielle seemed to have set up camp and was in serious thought of marrying the couch she was laying on. Executing a spinning slash pushing maneuver, Adam was able to untangle himself from Tommy and send him sprawling on top of Danielle. 

“The fuck?” Danielle yelled as Tommy landed on her. He just sighed and seemed to melt on top of his friend, no intent of moving anywhere in sight. She frowned at Adam before her hand came up, seemingly without her own volition, and began petting and playing with Tommy’s hair. 

“I’m going to make some tea, either of you want?” Adam asked as he moved into the kitchen. Two affirmative grunts reached his ears as he began to pull out the mugs and tea bags before setting the kettle on the stove.

There wasn’t much noise other than the soft sounds of him moving around the kitchen and the occasional sound of Danielle hitting a good spot on Tommy’s scalp and making him murmur happily. They all were such close friends, their entire group, but it seemed like Adam, Tommy, and Danielle were the most bonded out of them all. Adam and Danielle due to the years of back history and Tommy, because he just fit with them, and not in any way that any of them could explain. The silence in the apartment wasn’t heavy in any way; it was actually really nice after spending ten days in such an outrageous and different atmosphere. 

Adam was leaning on the kitchen counter playing with one of the mugs when Danielle called to him. “Yeah?” he asked, moving back into the living room.

She looked at him for a moment, “Think you are going to try at Jive again?” 

There was only one demo tape that Adam had personally shopped around to the studios. It was of only him singing, not the band that he and Monte had created and tried to get off the ground. Most of the studios never even bothered to return Adam’s calls, their silence a loud enough answer for Adam to understand, but he did end up getting one call from Jive just before he had left for Burning Man with them actually calling to say that they weren’t interested in him as an artist. The woman on the phone though didn’t leave it at that.

“Adam, you are good. You’re actually fucking amazing, but I work for people who can’t see past the end of their own noses half the time and they see something in you that isn’t quote unquote controllable. That said, I know some people who are pretty open minded and actually willing to take chances on something new that are going to be at an open mic at Michaelmas, that bar on 18th Street, in three weeks. If you really think you’ve got it, be at that open mic and be nothing but yourself.”

The whistle of the kettle kept him from answering Danielle. He walked back into the kitchen, his mind spinning, a nd poured their teas. He came back out, a mug in each hand that he placed on the coffee table for Danielle and Tommy, who managed to heave himself off of Danielle and into an upright position. Another quick trip into the kitchen and he returned, his own tea in hand to sit in the papasan chair next to the couch. 

“You know that night I kinda wandered off and I didn’t come back to camp until the next morning?” Adam asked while looking into his mug of tea.

Tommy grunted, “Yeah you fucker, scared me and Alisan half to death since you only told Sleepy here,” he poked Danielle in the side with his elbow, “where you were going and she was asleep the entire time we were looking for you!”

He and Danielle, her more due to Tommy’s sharp as hell elbows, winced at the reminder. “Yeah, well, I kinda had a vision?”

“What had you taken?” 

Adam shrugged, “I was coming off of the ‘shrooms and maybe had just sho t gunned with one of the boys in the camp next to us, but either way, I wasn’t like, totally wasted. I had just enough to let my mind really relax and wander.” He sighed and sipped his tea, “I’ve been so stressed and upset over the shit storm with Monte and it is getting closer and closer to the holidays and Neil made me promise to go out to Dallas to spend time with Dad and him this year. And all I’ve been doing is worrying about going back to Dallas and this fucking open mic night and it was just all swirling around in my head the entire time we were there. 

“But then, that night, it was like I had finally hit the right balance of everything. I just went out and laid down looking up at the sky. The stars were dancing and then suddenly they stilled with one just burning across the sky and it came to me --- I won’t be able to be who I want to be until I actually put myself out there and do the work myself, no more getting someone else to hand th ings over. I have to go out there and grip life and opportunity by the balls!”

Danielle gave a whoop of joy, almost spilling her tea on Tommy who dodged out of the way of her flailing arms. “Preach! And you know that all of us are going to be there on Tuesday cheering you on!” 

He laughed at her shouts, her tiredness having swung to the buzzy side of things. Adam looked over at Tommy who just nodded in agreement, his own eyes drooping in exhaustion. _These are my best friends_ , Adam thought as he watched them suddenly start pushing and tugging at each other like puppies. _These are the people who make me better and worth seeing._

  


_Winter, 2009, Dallas, Texas_

“Fucker, where are you?” Adam laughed into his phone while pulling his bags behind him out to the Arrivals pick up at the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport.

Neil sighed gustily, “Fucking meetings! Who knew that meetings for an online magazine would be so fucking annoying and tedious? I just left the office and won’t get to the airport for another hour or so.”

“Dude, I’ll just get a taxi. It isn’t like I don’t know how to get to the house. Remember, I’m the one that Dad taught to drive by letting me the Benz back from the airport.”

“Come on! I promised Dad that I wouldn’t just leave you alone on your first trip back after eight fucking years!” 

“Suck it up! I’ll see you at the house,” Adam then ended the call in the middle of Neil’s sputtering. Admittedly, he had been looking forward to getting all the gossip from Neil on the way there, but he could chat the taxi driver up and get some of the good gossip from him once he dropped who is dad was. Drivers, no matter what the car, stuck together and actually knew what was going on in a particular city. Just as he was about to hail a passing cab when a familiar red convertible Corvette came close. Adam just grinned as he watched Brad Bell drive past him, their eyes catching before the car came to a quick stop just past Adam.

Brad smiled at Adam, “You need a ride somewhere?” There was no recognition in his eyes and Adam’s first thought was, ‘Oh, this is going to be fun!’

“Sure Brad, I think you are heading in the same direction I’ll be going,” he smirked at the surprised look on Brad’s face and tossed his bags into the back seat of the car before sliding into the passenger seat. 

Brad si lently started driving, every once in a while looking over at Adam in puzzlement. “Do we know each other?”

“We certainly do,” Adam grinned while shooting a quick text to Danielle to say he was on his way to the house.

Brad frowned, “Our parents know each other, right?”

“Yup,” and when Adam offered nothing else the car fell silent for a few minutes.

“What does your father do? It is through your father, right?”

Adam paused for a moment before he laughed softly, “He’s in the business of cars.”

“You can’t be a Ford, can you?”

That brought a full laugh from Adam, “Well no, but my father does work with Ford, and Chrysler, and Royce, and BMW.” 

Brad was stunned into silence as he continued to drive along, his eyes cutting back to Adam every once in a while. “You seem so familiar! Come on,” he turned puppy-dog eyes on Adam, lower lip out in an obvious pout, �€ œcan’t you give me a hint? Just a small one?”

“Nope,” Adam grinned, “I’m having way too much fun to tell you now!”

They chatted back and forth for the rest of the drive, Brad peppering Adam with questions and him responding back with beguiling answers. As they got closer and closer to the house Adam began directing Brad on the turns to make, the other man taking the directions on auto-pilot. It wasn’t until they drove through the gates to the Bell’s mansion that Brad began to realize where they were. “But, this is where I live!”

“Hi neighbor!” Adam grinned at Brad, movement to the side of the car catching his eye. He turned away from Brad’s surprised eyes to see Kris standing against the side of the garage. Kris hadn’t gained much height from when Adam had last seen him, but there was muscle and strength in him that hadn’t been there eight years ago. When their eyes met, Kris’ brightened just a bit as he smi led at Adam, pushing away from the wall and heading for his own car, parked right next to Brad’s.

“Welcome home Adam,” Kris murmured, a soft blush turning his cheeks pink.

“Thank you, Kris,” Adam replied back, thinking that it wasn’t just for the welcome home, but for Kris being there for him so long ago. “We’ll have to catch up later.”

The blush turned a brighter pink and Kris ducked his head, smiling, “I’d like that. I’ll be back from the city---” 

“Adam?” Brad shouted interrupting Kris and drawing Adam’s gaze back to him.

“Adam!” was shouted out again, this time from the garage as Eber and Neil rushed from inside, huge grins on their faces.

Adam barely realized he was moving before he leapt out from the car and over to his father and brother, hugging them both. The three Lambert men began talking over one another in greetings and mock insults as others from the house began t o come outside to see Adam as well. Even Sandra, Daniel, and Neil were on hand to welcome him back home. 

Sandra beamed up at Adam, “Oh Adam, you must come to the party this evening! It is my annual pre-Christmas party and it will be the perfect chance for you to see everyone again!” 

From the corner of his eyes Adam saw Neil roll his eyes, obviously sure his brother would once again refuse to join in on the festivities as he once always did. “Sandra, I’d be delighted to join you all. I even have a new suit that will be perfect for the occasion.” He paused and looked around, just realizing that Kris was gone. 

The entire eight years that Adam had spent in LA, Kris was never really too far from his mind. Even if Brad surrounded his thoughts so often, Kris was a close second, just because of his unfailing support that he had given Adam that last night. The note that he had written him had been tucked into Adam’s wallet just b efore he left Dallas and it had never left. When he had ended up getting a new wallet, the first things that were transferred over was that note and the photo of Kris and Brad. The note was creased and had started to rip in places, but it was one of his most treasured items, and he never was really sure why it had affected him so much. 

Despite how much the note meant though, Adam had never called Kris. He was just too embarrassed by what had happened to actually talk to him afterwards. Neil had kept Adam up to date on all the Allen-Bell’s, Kris included, and he could tell that the two of them were close friends. And for all that Adam had been ridiculously self-absorbed and naive back then; even he saw how much Kris blossomed with Neil’s friendship. 

“Adam, that is fantastic!” Brad cooed from his shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. Adam smiled down at the object of his desire for all these years, feeling dark warmth spread through him with all of Brad’s attention on him. “You simply must save me a dance, or two, this evening!”

“Of course,” he murmured, dropping into his lower register and smirking seeing Brad give a soft shiver at the sound. He turned back to Sandra and Neil who both had a strange expression on their faces before they schooled them back into smiles. Adam shook off their looks, he probably imagined the concern on their faces, and smiled back at them. “I’ll go ahead and get settled in and shake out any wrinkles before this evening.”

“Lovely darling,” Sandra murmured, her enthusiasm slightly dimmed as she wrapped her arm around Brad’s, drawing him away. “Come, let us give Adam some time to settle in,” she said, her arm tight around Brad causing him to stumble after her.

“Mom!” was all Adam heard before he was surrounded by his father and Neil again; the two of them grabbing suitcases and herding him up the stairs to his old room.

Eber patted Adam on the shoulder before he disappeared off to drive Neil Allen into the city for a quick meeting before the party. Neil hung around helping Adam to unpack. He was frowning down at the suitcase he was unpacking; it was apparently full of shoes. “Dude, did you really pack a suitcase that was only for your shoes?”

“Duh, I wear a lot of boots, those take up room, thus one suitcase just for shoes,” Adam laughed while he pulled out a black, slim cut suit jacket and tuxedo pants. He carefully hung the pants and jacket in the bathroom door so that they could steam some with his shower later. “Brad certainly seemed surprised to see me. But pleasantly so.” 

Neil gritted his teeth as he continued to unpack the shoes -- seriously, how many pairs of black boots did one guy need? -- in the suitcase, his eyes rolling at Adam talking about Brad. “He’s engaged!” he finally burst out.

Adam didn’t pause in his unpacking, having moved on to putting his other clothes onto hangers in the closet, “I know. Dad told me after it happened.” He looked at his brother over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised, “Do you really think I’m also that stupid that I didn’t notice his engagement ring? I mean seriously, the thing is fucking huge.”

That made Neil laugh, “Yeah, the thing can be seen from outer space!”

“Sean must be over compensating,” Adam replied drolly, causing Neil to burst into laughter again.

Of course Adam knew Brad was engaged to Sean Hemeon, All-Star player for the Texas Rangers and son of one of Neil Allen’s major business competitors. Brad and Sean getting married had been touted as the merger of the century, bringing Allen Enterprises and Hemeon, Inc. together under one roof. Pictures of the two of them out and about in NYC and even LA had hit the gossip pages, especially after Brad had gotten into a drinking competit ion with Paris Hilton and somehow the two of them becoming best friends after he insulted her hair and she insulted his shoes. The fact that they were two openly gay men in Texas getting married, or as close to married as they could in Texas, was also sending the media into a frenzy. 

Fox News had even had segments on the impending nuptials. Most seemed to think that it was a sign of the impending collapse of the country as they knew it, but there were a few who were actually starting to seem sympathetic. When neither Allen or Hemeon stock had crashed when the news came out and the prices actually began to soar the tune of the media outlets really began to change towards support. It was actually Kris who had gone on a few of the news shows, giving interviews about the company and the family’s support for Brad and Sean.

That had really been the most surprising thing for Adam, seeing Kris step up to the plate in the business. The Kris that Adam reme mbered from that summer only wanted to play the guitar and sing; to make music, especially his own. And now, seeing him in business suits and carrying a briefcase made him sad. Even the brief glimpse of him this morning was so different from the young man Adam remembered. But then, eight years can really change someone. It certainly had changed him.

  


Adam took one final glance at himself in the mirror before leaving his room to head to the party. He knew he looked fierce in the beautifully tailored and detailed suit jacket that was untraditional in its use of studs and leather, his white shirt was fine cotton and open to his breastbone, long necklaces draped around his neck. His hair was swept up in a smooth pompadour, the black gleaming in the lights of the room, and the black liner and shadow around his eyes made the blue of them pop out in the otherwise monochromatic outfit. For a moment he hesitated before opening the door to leave, glancing at his reflection once more.

“You are a fierce LA Queen who is going to show Dallas just what they have been missing,” he said to his reflection before giving a short nod and finally stepping outside.

The music was al ready drifting out to him. A jazz standard was currently being played by the old fashioned big band that was always a staple of Sandra Bell’s events. He could hear the dull murmurs of the crowd just under the bright music. White fairy lights shone in the trees all along the walkways. Adam could see all of the upper echelon of Dallas society circling around the dance floor on the patio and he took a moment to just soak it all in. It was then that he realized he was standing next to his tree, the one that he had spent so many nights sitting in, watching everyone flit around like butterflies. 

_And now, now you are one of them_ , he thought before he took that final step up onto the floor and into the lights.

There wasn’t a decrease in the volume of the music, just the volume of those talking as heads turned to take him in. He could feel them all looking at him, and instead of the nerves he would have once felt, Adam felt the power he held in the situ ation. And it felt good. 

A small grin crossed his lips and before he knew it there was a circle of male and female admirers all around him. Women who wanted fashion tips and to take him to bed and men who wondered at his ease around women and also secretly, or not so secretly, wanted to take him to bed as well. He just laughed and waited, knowing that soon Brad would make his way to him. 

“Sean!” Brad’s voice cut across the dance floor enough for Adam to figure out where he was. “You really ought to go to the bathroom and soak your jacket before that red wine stains. I know how much you love this coat,” Brad simpered and fluttered around his tall fiancé. 

Sean smiled down at Brad before he nodded, “You’re right. You’ll save a dance for me when I get back?”

“Of course, of course!” Brad fluttered his hands at Sean to shoo him away.

Adam watched it all with amusement in his eyes and when Brad turned in his direction he just raised an eyebrow and quirked a grin at Brad. Brad’s own grin grew as he rushed over to Adam and pulled him out of his circle of admirers and onto the dance floor. 

“You can lead, right?” Brad asked impishly.

The deep laugh that came out of Adam surprised a few of the dancers around them, “Of course I can lead! You used to force me to dance with you so that you could learn the follow’s part. Plus,” he leaned in close to Brad’s ear to whisper to him, “being able to dance well translated into other areas rather fantastically.” At that Brad just leaned more of his weight into Adam, a soft moan escaping his mouth. 

The two of them danced a few songs through and before long the band took a break, the live music petering off to something being played through the speakers. Shortly after, the dance floor was cleared as everyone took the chance to get refreshments and sit for a while. Adam and Brad though were wrapped completely in each other’s presence. It was finally Brad who took a step back, realizing that the band had stopped playing.

He looked up at Adam as he pulled him over to the edge of the dance floor, “Adam, oh Adam... How is it that I never really saw you?”

For a moment Adam’s confidence floundered before he could reply. “You just never looked up.”

“Up?” Brad asked, his nose wrinkling in a much too cute way Adam thought.

“Yeah,” Adam motioned with his chin at his tree which they were standing by, “up. I came to every event that your mother threw when I was here. I just spent it in that tree.”

“Really, in the tree?” Brad turned around to look at the tree, his thoughts flashing across his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously trying to come up with a good response before he finally found one, his face brightening into an impish grin. “Must have been a good view!”

Adam’s laugh once again carried across the floor, “Yes, it was a rather good view. But the view from right here is even better.”

They stood looking into each other’s eyes for a moment before Brad blurted out, “Do you want to take a walk in the gardens with me?” His question seemed to surprise himself as he frowned slightly, as if not sure how the words came out of his mouth.

“A walk in the moonlit gardens, where we’ll stop by the lily pond to dance to _La Vie en Rose_?” Adam asked, his mind taking him back to all the other walks he had watched Brad go on.

Brad was silent for a moment as he looked up at Adam. “You really were watching,” he said quietly before he grinned. “Let me go tell the band, meet you there?”

Adam just lifted his hand to cradle the side of Brad’s face, Brad’s eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the caress, before Adam turned and started walking down the path towards the lily pond. 

The night really was turning into the fulfillment of nearly every fantasy Adam had had about Brad while they grew up. There was the dancing and flirting and now they were going to go down to the lily pond, dance again and Adam would take his kiss. _Finally_. A kiss that he felt he had been waiting for since he was a confused teen lusting after a boy who threw himself at everyone but him. The night was mild enough that Adam shucked his jacket, draping it over his arm as he walked. It was getting close to ten o’clock and the older crowd would start drifting home while the younger party goers would stay until one or two am. 

By the time Adam had gotten to the lily pond the band had started playing again, and the soft strains of music could be heard weaving about. It wasn’t yet _La Vie en Rose_ , but the song was familiar enough that Adam began to hum as he stood at the edge of the pond, his eyes taking in the details of the closed, pink flowers. 

“Your voice must be magnifice nt now,” said a voice behind Adam, breaking him from his reverie. He turned around to see Kris standing just at the edge of the clearing that made up the pond’s section of the gardens. 

“I get by,” Adam said as he looked at Kris. Kris was in a standard three piece black tux, the waistcoat making his torso look long and lean while emphasizing the flair of his hips. “Where’s Brad?”

Kris let out a soft laugh as he came closer to Adam, “Brad had an unfortunate meeting between his ass and a pair of wine glasses.”

Adam winced at the thought, “Someone left them on a chair didn’t they?” The barely held in smirk was his undoing and Adam burst into laughter, followed by Kris. Their laughter petered out just as the strains of Edith Piaf’s song filtered out to them.

Brown eyes met blue and Kris grinned, “Brad made me promise to dance with you when I found you since he is currently getting the glass taken out and stitches put in.â � 

For a moment Adam hesitated before he gave a gallic shrug and put his jacket down across the back of the bench beside the pond. Kris pulled off his own jacket and put it next to Adam’s before Adam pulled Kris into his arms. They danced silently for a while, slightly awkward before Adam felt Kris release a sigh against his neck and just lean into Adam’s body. This was his first time holding Kris, and Adam couldn’t help but notice how well they fit. 

Kris began to hum along to the song before Adam’s mouth opened.

“They want me to stay away from Brad, don’t they?”

It was barely there, but Adam felt Kris stiffen in his arms before he replied, “They want the merger to happen.”

“Going to bribe me?” Adam asked.

“Would it work?” Kris countered.

“Nope,” Adam husked against Kris’ ear, causing him to shudder softly.

Kris was silent for a while, the music still guiding their feet. “Have lunch with me in the city tomorrow.”

Adam pulled back just enough to look down at Kris’ face. Gently he tipped it up and left a lingering kiss on Kris’ lips. When he pulled back, Kris’ eyes were closed and his lips were parted as if waiting for another kiss. “Yes.” Adam stepped away from Kris’ tempting mouth and the conflicting thoughts that he brought forth to grab his coat and walk back to his room. 

He wasn’t sure why he had kissed Kris when he had planned to be kissing Brad that night, but at the same time... Adam definitely did not regret it.

  


The drive into the city on a Sunday was really easy for Adam, but his mind was spinning over Kris asking him to have lunch with him. He was excited for the chance to talk with Kris again and to finally tell him how thankful he was for him being there. But Adam also really wanted to apologize to him for never calling while he was gone. It was a kinda douche move, but by the time Adam really realized that, it seemed too late to call.

The Allen-Bell building was centrally located in downtown Dallas and housed nearly every facet of Allen Enterprises, the only one not in the building was the cattle ranch farther south, but it even had a small office on the fifth floor where some of the finance happened. When Sandra and Neil had gotten married they merged their companies though it mostly all fell under the auspices of Allen Enterprises. It had made them both even wealthier, but they really never were ones to truly flaunt it in other’s faces. 

When Adam arrived on the top floor offices, where Kris’ office apparently was, he felt a little intimidated by everything. There was a beautiful blonde sitting at a desk by the door and she smiled when Adam approached her desk. “Can I help you?” the nameplate on her desk said “Katy O’Connell.”

“Hi Katy, I’m Adam Lambert. I’m here to have lunch with Kris?” Adam smiled at her, confused and impressed by Kris having his own secretary/assistant type person that worked on Sundays with him. 

She smiled while picking up the phone, “One moment.” She pressed a button on the phone and spoke into the handset, “Mr. Allen? A Mr. Adam Lambert is here for you.” There was a pause and Adam could just barely make out the sound of Kris’ voice on the other end before Katy just smiled and hung up the phone, “You can go right in!”

Adam had to chuckle as he walked past her to the double doors. Pushing one open he stepped in and had to stop and just look. There was nearly a three-sixty view of the city and the room was open and airy, with a balcony door open, a soft breeze drifted in. Kris had his back to Adam, standing behind his desk, frowning at the phone in his hand.

“Seems like you have your hands full with your secretary,” Adam laughed as Kris jumped in surprise, turning to face him.

“Shit!” He held his hand to his chest before putting the phone down in the cradle. “Fuck Adam, you scared me! And yeah, I’ve known Katy since we were back in Arkansas and she knows just how to push my buttons.”

“It’s because you make it so easy Kris!” she laughed, closing the door behind Adam as he moved farther into the room. 

Adam looked around the large airy office. There was an informal sitting area with a couch an d two armchairs around a low coffee table. Next to that was a wet bar that seemed to be fairly well stocked from Adam’s quick glance. Then there was the desk, a huge mahogany thing with a high backed chair behind it and two chairs in front. If Adam had ever thought to picture Kris Allen’s personal office it would have never looked like the office he found himself standing in. The pictures on the wall looked like something that could be found in a hotel, pleasant but impersonal. The only personal touch that Adam could find was a framed picture on Kris’ desk. 

He walked up to the desk and picked up the photograph as Kris came around from behind it. It was of Kris, Daniel, Neil, Sandra, and Brad. And just in the corner he saw his brother photobombing the picture with a goofy face. “My brother, the jokester,” Adam said as he put the picture back on the desk.

Kris grinned up at him, “Yeah, that’s why I love that picture. The whole thing was sta ged and the photographer was this ass who kept going on and on about lighting and vision. It wasn’t until we started going through all the film that I even knew that Neil was around. He bombed just about half the pictures, that one is my favorite.” He put his hand on Adam’s shoulder and motioned to the sitting area, “Come on, let’s sit for a bit before we go to lunch, we have a few minutes before we need to leave for the reservation.”

“Ooh,” Adam grinned as he moved to sit on the couch, “You taking me out someplace fancy?”

“Kinda?” Kris mused as he sat on the other end of the couch from Adam. “It’s this Ethiopian place that I found a bit ago. There usually isn’t a problem getting a table, but I just wanted to be sure that we could.”

Adam leaned back into the armrest in a casual sprawl. He took a moment to look over Kris and how he looked compared to last night. He was dressed in a blue button down that was open at the neck and charcoal slacks, black belt with black shoes. Kris Allen looked like a twenty something businessman, a something that Adam never expected. The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes just taking each other in. 

“You colored your hair,” Kris said, breaking the silence.

“You became your father,” Adam responded, confusion in his tone. “I mean, your dad is great, but seriously Kris, I would have never expected this of you. Even when Neil told me that you had started picking up the reigns I could barely believe it. But here you are, working on a Sunday just like your father always has.”

A small frown crossed Kris’ face. “Dude, you barely got to know me that summer, and that was eight years ago. People change.”

“Yes, people do change,” Adam agreed while sitting forward and turning to face Kris head on. He swept his hand up and down in front of himself, “I know I definitely did on the outside and little on the inside, but I’m still inherently me. And maybe I was too caught up to really get to know you that summer, but Kris; you are my brother’s best friend. I know more about you than you probably would want! I know that you play the guitar and sing, that you used to play at bars and open mic nights during school. I know that you recorded an EP, which I made Neil give to me -- no you can’t have it back, I love it. I know that you want to make music, not sit behind a desk pushing paper.”

“Adam,” Kris’s voice cracked as he turned his head down to his lap. He coughed and cleared his throat, “Adam, not everyone can just run away to LA and do what they want. Daniel isn’t going to step up, and you and I both know Brad definitely won’t. Someone needs to make the sacrifice for the family. Hell,” he gave a harsh laugh, “I’m getting an MBA right now.

“And I’m going to kill Neil for giving you a copy of my EP. That thing is shit. It was mad e with Garage Band in like a month.”

“Yeah, and that piece of shit, as you say, got you some nibbles from fucking Nashville!” Adam practically yelled. “Do you realize how hard it is to have that happen anymore? You didn’t shop around or anything. You just made it for fun and someone took notice. I had to practically beg, borrow, and steal to get any execs to come and listen to me, let alone my demo. Sure, I have a contract now, but I had to work to get it. You practically had one fall in your lap and you just said, ‘No thanks, too busy being a martyr for my family.’”

Kris looked up from his lap at Adam, his eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. Adam had to hold back the urge to lean forward and capture that full bottom lip between his teeth. Now was not the time to give into these new urges and desires. Finally, Kris broke from his stupor to grin at Adam, a happy and incredulous smile at that, “You have a recording contract?”

A dam blinked rapidly for a moment before he replied, “Yeah?”

“Oh my god!” Kris exclaimed, his face breaking into a huge grin as he launched himself at Adam to hug him. “That is amazing! Congrats man!”

On instinct Adam’s arms went around Kris. He couldn’t help but grin at the thought of his new contract as well. “Thanks,” he said, pulling Kris closer to him, tightening the hug. 

When Kris pulled back, his grin was manic as he looked at the clock against the far wall. “Well, we’re late, but I think we can still get a table, if you want? We need to celebrate! Does anyone else know yet?” Kris asked as he stood and pulled Adam up with him.

“No, not yet. I figured I would tell Dad and Neil during dinner tonight.” He slid a hand around Kris to rest at the small of his back, “Come on, let’s go eat and then I want to go see how Brad is doing. He was still sleeping when I left the house this morning.”

Adam use d the hand on Kris’ back to guide him towards the door so he was just behind him and didn’t see the momentary frown cross his face as Brad was mentioned. When he was beside Kris again his features were smoothed into a happy smile once again. “Sounds like a plan.”

They had just settled into their seats at the restaurant, the car ride over spent talking about how much Dallas had changed in the time that Adam was gone, when he took a deep breath and looked Kris in the eye. “I’m sorry for never calling you.”

Kris’ eyes, which had been studying the menu, froze in spot as he took a sudden sharp breath. He took steadying breath before he replied, eyes still not moving, “Why?”

“Why didn’t I call or why did I try to kill myself?” Adam asked while setting his menu aside.

The table was quiet for a moment before Kris replied, “Both?” He took another steadying breath before he put his own menu down and looked up at Adam, “Both. ”

It was Adam that time that had to take a breath to center himself. “I was a bit self-centered at that point. My self-worth was too tied up in what others thought of me and I couldn’t see past that moment. And by the time I realized that, it had been nearly three years.”

Their waitress came up then, an awkward smile on her face, “You ready or do you two need some more time?”

They glanced at each other before Kris gave Adam a soft smile, “Want me to order for us?”

Adam grinned and waved his hand, “Go for it.”

Kris looked up at the waitress, “We’ll have the _Doro Wot_ and the _Gomen_ please. Oh, and water for us both.” The waitress nodded, writing the order down and taking their menus, which Adam handed to her, before giving a grin and leaving them alone again.

“So, what did you get us?” Adam asked, fiddling with the napkin in his lap.

“Pretty much chicken and collard greens. You’ll li ke it, I promise.” Kris sighed and looked at Adam, his face open and engaged. “It wouldn’t have mattered if you had called me after three or five years. I just would have liked a call. I would have liked to know that you were doing okay. And not just from Neil or your father, but from you, in your own words.”

Adam leaned forward and put his hand over Kris’, his heart pounding as he looked into the brown eyes across from him. So oddly similar to Brad’s, but at the same time, so vastly different. Brad’s features were almost fox like in their angularity while Kris’... Kris’ eyes were suddenly starting to draw him in. “I’m sorry for not calling,” he said.

The hand under his turned over to grasp at it, “I’m glad you came home.”

For the rest of lunch they kept to easy topics of what they had been doing in the last eight years. Sure, they both had the basics from Neil, but Adam loved hearing from Kris directly about the time he and Neil got drunk and sang horrible karaoke with the both of them waking up in the morning, unsure of why they were wearing each other’s pants and who Loraine was. Apparently the mystery of Loraine was never solved, and to that day, Kris refused to drink Purple Nurples, “They are just bad news man, bad news.”

Soon enough, all that was left were scraps of _injera_ and just smears of sauce on their plates. Adam couldn’t help but smile at Kris as he insisted on paying. “You being here is a celebration, we should observe that celebration with me paying for our lunch. Cause when you become a famous rock star I can say that I bought you lunch before you were famous!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Hey, just think, I can say that the future head of Allen Enterprises bought me lunch!” Kris laughed right along with Adam, but he could tell that his heart wasn’t in it. It was starting to get painfully obvious to Adam that Kris really wasn’t happy where he was, but he had no idea how to help. 

“Come on,” Kris stood, tossing his napkin onto the table. “Let’s get you home so that you can see my idiot infirm step-brother.”

Adam stood and followed Kris out the door, his thoughts on Kris’ apparent unhappiness shoved to the back burner with the mention of Brad.

  


“Adam!” Brad cried out when Adam and Kris came into Brad’s room. He was lying in bed on his stomach, blankets tucked in around him. For a moment he tried to sit up, but winced and flopped right back down, groaning into the pillows. “My ass hurts and not in the fun way...”

Adam shot an amused grin at Kris before he knelt down next to the bed and began to run his fingers through Brad’s mussed hair. Brad grinned and nuzzled his head into the pillow in obvious pleasure. “He’s really doped up, isn’t he?” Adam asked Kris who had sat down on the edge of the bed.

Kris nodded, “Yeah, I think he snuck a second pill or something. Vicodin is a favorite of his.”

Adam just nodded and continued to play with Brad’s hair. When Brad cracked an eye open and looked up at him, he grinned down, “You w ant me to stay and help take care of you?”

“No!” both Brad and Kris shouted, surprising Adam. 

“You would be so bored Adam!” Brad cried out, again trying to sit up before he huffed and stayed prone. He turned to Kris, eyes big and pleading, “Kris! Kris, brother of mine! You have to keep Adam company!”

“Brad,” Kris started before he was cut off by Brad.

“You have to stick to him like glue so he doesn’t forget about me and run away with someone pretty,” Brad said trying for _sotto voce_ and missing by a mile. 

Kris just rolled his eyes before he nodded at Brad, “Sure Brad.” Adam laughed almost missing Kris’ continued reply, “As if he ever could.”

The room was quiet as Brad began to snuggle back down into the bed and Adam tried to understand why he felt so sad at Kris’ comment. Once Brad was settled he looked at Adam and Kris still next to and on the bed respectively. He looked between the two of them and gave a dopey grin, “Okay you two, off! I need more beauty rest if I am to be at fighting shape for Adam to tame the flowers at the treehouse.”

It was an obvious struggle for Kris to keep in his laughter as he stood up, Adam following. “Okay Brad, you get that rest,” Kris said, rubbing his hand down Brad’s back fondly. By then Brad was already asleep and Kris guided Adam out of the room, a hand at the small of his back, before closing the door. 

“Listen,” Kris turned to look down the hallway away from Adam, “I’m going to be busy tomorrow and Tuesday. Most everyone is going to be off from the 23rd until after the New Year, so I want to make sure everything is okay for while people are gone. But how about we go out on Wednesday? I know Neil and Daniel will be around, we can all go out and have some fun together before we have to get back into the monkey suits for the Solstice Gala.”

Adam opened and closed his mouth for a moment before he frowned, “Solstice? I always thought it was the Annual Christmas Ball?”

Kris looked back at Adam, a grin breaking out, “Yeah, Mom is trying to be more PC these days. All inclusive and everything. So, Wednesday?”

“I’ll make sure Neil wears appropriate dancing shoes.”

  


“Danielle, I think I’m fucked,” Adam fell across his bed, staring up at the old poster of Queen on his ceiling.

He heard a huff of laughter over the phone before Danielle spoke, “And this is different from every other time, how?”

“I think Kris took me on a date yesterday.”

“What?” came from two voices.

Adam frowned, “Did you put me on speaker with Tommy?”

“Of course she did! And don’t think that after you got off the phone with Danielle that you wouldn’t be calling me right away!” Tommy said with humor in his voice.

“What are you... Are you at our apartment?” Adam asked, sitting up now. 

There was a pause before he heard Tommy give a gusty sigh, “It’s lonely without you here man. Danielle has been staying since you left. But, who cares about that, t ell us about your maybe date with the boy who isn’t Brad!”

Sometimes Adam wondered if Tommy hadn’t been a Jewish Grandmother in his past life with how much he loved to gossip about relationships and other people’s lives. “Well, it was nice?”

“Nice?” Danielle asked. “Why do I hear a question mark at the end of that sentence? It either wasn’t or it was.”

He could hear the rustling of fabric as the two moved around on what was probably Adam’s bed. Adam could picture the two of them snuggled together, the phone between them as they reclined against the wall, pillows behind their backs for support, and he was hit with a wave of longing so deep he could barely swallow past it. It had only been a few days, but since moving away, the two of them had been Adam’s lifeline. He only wished that they could be here with him, sharing the gossip in person over a movie and cheap wine. 

“It was nice,” Adam responded. “Just really unexpected.” 

Tommy scoffed, “Dude, I doubt it is really all that unexpected. Anyway, what makes you move it from ‘friendly lunch,’” Adam could hear the air quotes in that, “to date territory?”

“Well,” Adam laid back down and turned his head, looking out the window, “I may have kissed him right after he asked the night I got back.”

Adam could hear the wind outside his window in the resulting silence. The sun was setting, creating a beautiful array of colors that reminded Adam of all the summers he used to spend there. It was just that morning that he and Neil had spent the day together, hitting all their old haunts and catching up in person. Neil had shown off his office at the magazine he worked for before they settled at a favorite café of theirs for lunch.

_“So, you going to visit more often now?” Neil asked as he took a big bite out of the turkey panini he had ordered._

_Adam picked at the salad on his plate, “I don’t know. I mean, I had forgotten how beautiful it is here. LA might have all this color to it, but it is artificial, all chemical.”_

_“At least when you are in LA you are closer to Mom, even if San Diego is a few hours away. I barely get the time to see her since I moved to Texas full time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being so close to Dad, but I miss Mom too.” Neil pushed his plate away, his face thoughtful, “Do you ever miss when we were all together?”_

_“You mean before Mom and Dad split?” Adam asked. Neil nodded and he sighed, “Of course I do. But I also wouldn’t wish unhappiness on them because of us wanting them to be together while they didn’t. It is fucking amazing how well they get on now, but I know it took time for them to start being friends again.”_

_Adam took a bite from his salad, “That’s what I want in the end. I want the romance and the love and the passion, but mainly I want the friendship and companionship that comes from that.”_

_Neil’s face twisted up in a grimace, “And you honestly think you could get that with Brad, who is engaged, to be married, to another man, in like, a month?”_

_“Maybe,” he put his fork down, “I’ve been in love with him since I saw him. I have to at least see what happens.” Neil just shook his head and pulled his plate close again, dismissing the topic._

“You kissed Kris?” Danielle’s voice broke Adam from his memory. He could hear fabric moving and knew that Tommy was flailing.

“I mean,” Adam paused and sighed, “it was just a peck really.”

“Adam!” both Danielle and Tommy’s voices rang out. 

Adam huffed into the phone, “We were dancing to that Edith Piaf song, _La Vie en Rose_. You know, the one that goes _Des yeux qui font baisser les miens/Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche_.” Adam could hear Danielle sigh after he finished singing the two lines.

“That’s so romantic!” she murmured. 

“It was,” Adam sighed, “But that is what got me into this mess.”

“Would it be so bad if you actually did date Kris?” Tommy asked.

The line was silent for a moment before Adam frowned when he saw what time it was, “Hey, I have to go. I’ll talk to you guys later. Try to not have sex on my bed!” He hung up cutting off their protests.

  


“Oh god, I think my ears are bleeding,” Neil whined as he thumped the beers in his hand onto the table. He sat down hard next to Adam, the older brother taking one of the beers while laughing. “No, seriously Adam, my ears are bleeding and it is all because of your brother!” Neil turned and pointed at Kris who held his hands up in surrender.

“Hey, don’t blame me for Daniel’s inability to carry a tune during karaoke. Normally he’s okay, but actually give him a mic and a monitor and he fails.” Kris winced as Daniel hit a sour note, “Fails hardcore.”

Adam laughed and shook his head, “Neil, you have no room to complain about Daniel’s singing when I know while you may rock a piano, you can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” 

Kris and Adam laughed at the put upon look on Neil’s face as Danie l took his final bows and came back to the table. He grabbed the remaining beer and sat next to Kris, “So, Adam, when are you going to go up and sing for us? I keep hearing from Kris about how amazing you are. Especially doing that One Republic song.”

“Wait, what?” Adam asked, his beer hitting the table with a thud as he sat forward. “Kris, you saw me out in LA?”

“Um,” Kris took a quick sip of beer in an obvious stall. “I was out there for my dad and well, Neil told me about your regular show so I stopped in and well… You are amazing!” He grinned up at Adam, “Seriously man, you deserve that fucking contract.”

“Contract?” Neil shouted. “Contract! You have a recording contract?” At Adam’s nod his hands flew up in the air in a flail, “Holy shit! This calls for good booze, none of this four dollar shit! Kris, it’s your turn, go woo the crowd with your skills while I got get us something to drink!” 

Wit h a shrug Kris stood at the same time the Neil did, “I guess I’m up!” He smiled at Adam, a bit shyly, before he made his way up to the stage.

“You know, he’s had a crush on you since forever,” Daniel said as he finished off his beer and started on the one Kris had left on the table. 

Adam sputtered, the sip he was taking making a valiant effort to come out his nose. “What?”

“Yeah,” Daniel belched, ignoring Adam’s wince. “He’s been kinda in love with you since that first summer after Dad married Sandra and moved us out here. But it didn’t really start being obvious until after he came back from that trip to LA and heard you sing. It was like you hung the moon and stars for him. And fuck, I’m drunk. Please don’t tell Kris that I told you that he likes you! How did I get so drunk already?” 

Adam tuned out Daniel’s mutterings because by that time Kris had finally made his way onto the stage and was standing a bit shyly at the mic. “Hey everyone. I’m going to be singing _Falling Slowly_ from the movie _Once_.”

The memories Adam had of Kris singing really paled in comparison to the man singing in front of him then. Sure, his mouth was crooked and he strained for the high notes, but fuck, if he wasn’t living, breathing, musical porn on stage. He had a husky tone on the bottom with top notes that were plaintive and clear. God, Adam just wanted to bite at his neck, the tendons and veins prominent as he performed. And oh god, Adam realized while watching Kris, his brown eyes flickering at Adam every few lines, he was singing to him. He was singing a love song, a song about falling in love, to Adam. 

When Kris finished, the applause was boisterous and Adam had to stand with everyone else to give him an ovation for the performance. As Kris made his way back to the table he and Adam locked eyes and Adam was barely able to breathe at the look in Krisâ �™ eyes. “Kris,” Adam started as he got to the table only to be knocked over by Neil back into his seat.

“Johnny Blue bitches! Early Christmas gift to you all, don’t expect anything else. Kris you were fantastic! Now drink!” Neil held up the bottle and passed the glasses around, the moment between Adam and Kris broken.

  


Thursday was quiet for Adam as he recovered from the hangover of the night before. He lazed about in bed before dragging himself into the shower to clean off the drunk sweat from the night before. The water was blessedly hot and soothed the muscles that had tightened up from Adam’s motionless sleep and hangover pains. For a few minutes his brain was silent as he wallowed in the hot water that beat against his face and body and the steam that surrounded him. Adam hummed a few notes from a song before suddenly the full song came to him and he realized that he had been humming _Falling Slowly_. Memories from the night before crashed into him and suddenly the relaxing shower wasn’t relaxing anymore.

“Fuck,” Adam said loudly, the sound echoing off the tiles. 

Kris had all but came out and said he was in lo ve or falling in love or close to something like love with Adam via song last night. Hell, Daniel in his drunken stupor had said that Kris was in love with him. The rest of the night Kris had ended up always in Adam’s space and Adam had soaked it up like a sponge. The drinks that Neil had bought everyone just made it easier for Adam to lean back into Kris’ warmth and teasingly tug on his ears. 

Adam had the distinct memory of Neil pulling him away from leaning in to kiss an unaware Kris. “Dude, no.”  
He huffed at his brother, a drunk pout pushing his bottom lip out, “Why not? Neil, he’s...”

“Yes, I know,” Neil said, a soft frown turning the corners of his lips down. “But Adam, you are both drunk right now, and if something happened it would ruin it for both of you. Wait. Wait until you are _both_ sober.”

He remembered muttering “Fine,” back at Neil before he turned away and pulled Kris and Daniel into hugs. 

Now he had to reconcile the fact that he had spent a good portion of his adolescence and early adult life pining after one brother only to suddenly find himself wanting the other. _Maybe not all that suddenly_ , a quiet voice in the back of his mind whispered as Adam finally pulled himself out of the shower and began to dry off. The suit he was going to wear the next evening for the gala was hanging on the back of the bathroom door, the steam working out wrinkles from it being packed. 

After drying off Adam dr essed in jeans and a t-shirt, his mind caught in a loop as he tried to reconcile his feelings about Kris and Brad. He wandered out the door to his rooms onto the walkway that hung over the garage. The driveway and courtyard were full of caterers, florists, and last minute details being argued over. He leaned against the railing as he watched as a large winter display was carried in pieces to the large patio where the dancing was to happen on Friday evening. Heat lamps were being set up for when the night turned cool and Adam was reminded of the rooftop bars in LA where he and his friends would spend some evenings. 

Homesickness hitting him hard, he pulled out his phone to send a quick text to Scarlett, “Missing you like crazy. How is my god-son doing?”

As he waiting for a reply Adam saw Brad limp out of the main house, Sean helping him to walk. Sean leaned down and kissed Brad’s temple, Brad’s eyes closing in obvious happiness and pleasure at the g esture. When he opened his eyes, the smile that he gave Sean made Adam’s heart give a lurch. And not of jealousy that the adoring look of love on Brad’s face wasn’t towards him, but that Adam knew in his heart of hearts that Brad truly loved Sean. The feeling of hurt that Adam expected to feel never came as he watched the two continue on their walk, all he felt was a contentment and happiness for Brad. 

The forgotten phone in his hand buzzed with a new message, “Missing you too, love! And Riff says hi to his god-father!”

  


Adam stood at the fringes of the party watching the dancers spin around; the women looked like sparkling winter butterflies and the men in dark suits, their bow ties and waistcoats bringing bursts of color. The band was playing a jazz version of a Christmas carol and everyone had smiles on their faces, enjoying the moment of gaiety.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and as Adam fished it out Neil wandered over, for once dressed in a suit like all the other male party goers. “You’re not wishing you were up in your tree, pinning over yon Brad?” he motioned with a tilt of his head at Brad who was very carefully sitting, his eyes on Sean who was obviously telling a story by the way his hands moved.

“Nope, just enjoying watching everyone,” Adam said as he thumbed the screen awake on his phone. It was a picture of D anielle and Tommy together at Adam and his apartment; they were both making a face at the camera, the caption underneath saying “Merry All Inclusive Winter Holiday!”

He smiled and put his phone away, not replying back. “Have you seen Kris yet?”

Neil shook his head, “Not yet, but knowing him, he will be late. The boy has been putting in more hours getting the merger set up than is healthy.”

“Okay,” Adam gave Neil his full attention, “How serious is Kris about heading up Allen Enterprises? I mean, tell me straight, is this what he really wants to do?”

Neil forced his breath out between his teeth before he replied, “I don’t know. For the past three months he was been working himself like crazy but at the same time he will go off with his guitar at the drop of a hat and be gone for hours. He hasn’t told me much of anything recently, so I don’t know.”

“Maybe the holidays have him stressed. I just hope that he...â � Adam broke off what he was saying, his eyes catching on Kris coming up the walkway. He was in a dark gray striped suit, black details trimming the lapels and collar. Adam barely noticed Neil muttering beside him as he walked towards Kris who was coming right to him as well. 

“You look,” Kris took a breath as he looked Adam up and down, “you look amazing.”

Adam just had to grin, “Only half as amazing as you.” They both paused for a moment before sputtering in laughter. “I’m so sorry, that was such a horrible line, but you do look fantastic Kris.”

Kris blushed and ducked his head, “Thanks.”

The party goers all seemed to be just orbiting around them, almost as if they were in their own bubble of space. Adam held out his hand to Kris, “Dance with me?”

He felt guitar calloused fingers slip over his fingers before they grasped his hand. “Yes,” Kris murmured allowing Adam to pull him onto the dance floor. 

For Adam, it felt like time slowed down and sped up at the same time. Everyone around them was going so fast, but he and Kris, they were moving through time at a slower pace, Adam reveling in every moment that Kris was in his arms. It was like they were made for one another, with a perfect spot between Adam’s shoulder and head just for Kris. He could feel Kris’ soft exhalations on the skin of his neck causing goose bumps to tingle across the back of his arms and making the hair on his neck stand on end. He just barely held back a shiver as Kris settled even more into his arms.

“You sang to me on Wednesday. No one has ever done that before,” Adam whispered to Kris as they danced.

“Really?” Kris asked, his head resting fully against Adam’s shoulder.

“Nope. You always end up doing things for me that no one else has. You saved me, you supported me just by being there, and now you’ve sung for me.” Adam looked up and grinned as he saw where their dancing was leading. Moving Kris into a soft turn he slowed them down to a barely moving sway. “Look up Kris.”

Kris fluttered his eyes open, Adam hadn’t even noticed that Kris had closed his eyes, and looked up, barely moving his head from Adam’s shoulder -- Adam could have sworn that the skin of his shoulder was burning hot under his suit from the heat of Kris’ skin. Kris turned pink, the flush starting in his cheeks before spreading down his neck and under his shirt, when he saw the mistletoe that they were now standing under. 

Adam put just a little bit of distance between their bodies, forcing Kris to move his head off of Adam shoulder. With a gentle finger under Kris’ chin, he lifted his face up so that Adam could meet his lips in a kiss. As their lips touched, Adam gave a sharp inhale and the softness and how right it felt. The hand that had been under Kris’ chin moved back to grip his neck as the other slid under Kris’ j acket to clench at his waist. Kris’ own hands came up, framing Adam’s face as both their mouths opened, their kiss slowly deepening. Using the tip of his tongue, Adam caressed the seam of Kris’ lips, asking for entry into his mouth. More a rumble from his chest than a full groan heralded Kris opening his mouth to welcome Adam’s tongue. 

Kris tasted like crisp, clean water, tart grapefruit, and something that was just uniquely Kris; Adam couldn’t get enough of the tastes. But he also had enough presence of mind to realize that where they were was not the place to be making out like teenagers. He pulled back from Kris’ mouth, both of them panting for air, “Come upstairs with me.”

He waited, anxiety bleeding into his face as Kris looked into his eyes while biting softly at his bottom lip. Adam very nearly leaned back in to nip at the lip when Kris gave a startled chuckle before answering, “Yes.”

Honestly, all that Adam remembered of their walk back to Adam’s rooms was Neil giving them an enthusiastic thumbs up and Brad smiling after them. Once they reached his rooms buttons had been undone, ties were hanging loose around necks, and Adam was pushing Kris’ jacket down off of his shoulders. He skimmed his hands from shoulder to wrist, gripping the fine boned joints and bringing Kris hands up to kiss at his fingertips and palms. Kris moaned and shook Adam’s hands from his wrists as he began to mutter “Off, off!” when he started pushing at Adam’s own jacket.

By the time they tumbled onto Adam’s bed they were frantically kissing and both were without socks and shoes, jackets, and Kris was without his pants. His shirt was caught around his wrists, making him break away from Adam’s lips with a bit back growl of frustration as he pulled off cufflinks and tossed the shirt away. Kris stopped once the shirt was gone and just stared at Adam who was staring right back. 

“God,” Kr is murmured, “You are amazing.” Adam flushed at the compliment and took the time to unbutton his own shirt and toss it away from the bed. He watched as Kris’ mouth dropped open and his eyelids slip almost closed as he looked up and down Adam’s body. Kris’ open perusal and desire was reflected in his eyes and the growing bulge at the front of his slacks. Adam’s own pants strained at the zipper from his erection. 

There was another flurry of movement as Adam and Kris collided in a kiss again, both working to remove one another’s pants. With a laugh, Adam knocked Kris’ fumbling hands aside to work the zipper of his pants down and then Kris’. Kris kissed across Adam’s shoulders before he lay back on the bed, lifting his hips to work his slacks down. He hesitated for a moment before he reached up and drew his boxers down to his ankles, kicking them off with a flick of a foot. Adam watched as Kris’ blush spread across his chest as Adam looked h im up and down. 

“You are beautiful Kris,” Adam said as he leaned down to kiss a pert nipple. A moan escaped Kris’ lips as Adam dragged his tongue across the tight bud. Adam stroked his hands down Kris’ sides as he laved first one nipple and then the other. His fingers traced the ridges made by muscles and dipped into the indentation of Kris’ bellybutton, teasing the sensitive skin before moving down, both hands gripping at Kris’ hips. Tightening his grip on them, Adam dragged his tongue down the center of Kris’ chest and abdomen until his chin bumped into Kris’ erect cock. He felt the wet tip slip against his skin as he continued to lick at Kris. 

Kris thrashed his head back and forth against the bedding, making no effort to stifle the moans leaving his lips. His hands flailed for a moment before they landed in Adam’s thick hair, fingers wrapping in the dark strands and gripping just enough to give Adam a thrill. The insistent hands be gan to try to push Adam downward, Kris whining when Adam didn’t move at the pushes. 

“Please, Adam,” he moaned. “Please suck me.”

Adam grinned and nipped at the skin under his lips, “My pleasure.” His hands slid down to Kris’ thighs, gently pushing them open so he could settle between them comfortably. Once settled he brought one hand up to take hold of Kris who was hot and firm in his hand. Pre-come was beading at the tip of Kris’ erection, lines of the slick fluid already helping to smooth Adam’s way. He ran the thumb of his hand over the tip, smearing the liquid and making Kris moan at the motion. Slowly Adam lowered his head to Kris’ groin and just smelled the thick musk of Kris’ sex and arousal, it was intoxicating. 

He was so caught up in inhaling the scent that he almost missed Kris’ pleading moans. “Adam, please! Please!”

Looking up he saw Kris’ lust blown eyes looking down at him, his stomach muscles trembling as he worked to hold himself up. Quirking a quick grin up at him, Adam bent his head and engulfed the cock in his hand. As he began to run his tongue over the thick vein on the underside he felt Kris collapse back, the hands in his hair tightening for a moment, the sting making his eyes water, before they flew up. He glanced up and saw that Kris was gripping at his own hair as Adam began to bob up and down on the cock in his mouth. When his lips touched his hand, he pulled it away to start stroking over Kris’ balls as the other hand gripped Kris’ hip tightly, keeping him anchored down.

Kris was shuddering underneath him, keening cries escaping his mouth as Adam relaxed his throat and swallowed Kris all the way down. Adam swallowed Kris one more time before he pulled off of Kris and moved up the bed to kiss his bite swollen lips. Clutching hands gripped at his shoulders, the blunt fingertips digging in, as Adam felt Kris wrap his legs around Adam’s hips, bringing his groin flush with Adam’s. 

Gasping Kris pulled back from the kiss, “You’re still wearing pants!” 

Adam couldn’t help but chuckle at the indignant tone. “Easily fixed,” he said as his leaned up a bit, and wriggled his slacks and briefs down with the help of Kris’ feet. 

Both moaned when their naked flesh rubbed against one another, Adam rutting down against Kris who just moaned and arched his back at the pleasure. Adam thrust down a few more times, their sweat and pre-come making the glide of their cocks against one another smooth and slick. 

“Kris,” Adam moaned and kissed the hinge of Kris’ jaw, “I want to fuck you.”

He felt Kris shudder beneath him, his whole body quivering before suddenly going lax. “Yes,” Kris said, his voice husky and tight with arousal. 

With another kiss against Kris’ jaw, Adam leaned over and fumbled at the drawer to his bedside table. Pulling out the lube a nd strip of condoms he slid it closed again and propped himself up between Kris’ legs. “How do you want to be, baby? On your back or on your belly?”

Kris looked at Adam, his eyes darting up and down as he thought, “I want to see you.” His hand came up and caressed the side of Adam’s face. Adam turned into the touch as Kris spoke again, “I want to watch you when you come inside me.”

Adam bit at the hand touching his face as he groaned, “Baby, you keep saying stuff like that and I’m not going to make it inside you before I come.” Kris just grinned, obviously pleased with himself.

Laughing, Adam kissed Kris’ hand before he sat up more, Kris’ hand falling down beside his body as Adam moved back, dropping the supplies within easy reach. He then gripped Kris’ thighs and pushed them back, bending Kris so that Adam could open him up. Kris brought his hands forward to grip at the backs of his thighs, helping Adam to keep him open. Adam smiled at Kris before he reached over and picked up the lube again, quickly flicking the top open to dribble some of the slick fluid right down Kris’ cleft and also onto his fingers.

He closed the top again before he began to rub two fingers around Kris’ opening, warming the muscles and the lube before he dipped just the tip of one finger inside of Kris. Kris gave a soft moan as Adam slowly began to sink the one finger into him. He was hot and tight inside, the muscles rippling around Adam’s finger. Pulling the digit back, Adam began to thrust it in and out of Kris, slowly opening him before he added another. Kris tightened against him briefly before he relaxed against the two fingers sliding into him. 

“You are doing so well Kris,” Adam crooned. “Fuck, you are so hot inside, so tight. I can’t wait to get my cock inside of you.” He scissored his fingers apart, stretching the tight muscles before he pulled his fingers back and fumbled with the lube again. With a huff he poured a puddle onto Kris’ belly, Kris’ stomach sucking in at the cool temperature with a gasp. Adam ran three fingers through the puddle before bringing them back to Kris’ ass and teasing them inside of him. 

Kris gasped at the push of the three fingers before he began to push back against them, forcing them inside even faster. As Adam began to thrust into him Kris began to rock back, fucking himself on Adam’s fingers. “Oh god, Adam!” Kris cried out. “Oh, fuck... I’m ready, I’m ready, fuck!”

Adam pulled his fingers from Kris’ body, a groan leaving Kris’ lips as he did so, and had to stop for a moment using his clean hand to grip at his cock to keep himself from coming as he watched Kris’ ass try to close against nothing. Once he was pulled back from the brink, Adam wiped his lube covered hand with the corner of the sheet and grabbed at the strip of condoms before tearing one open with fumbling fingers. Quickly, he rolled the condom down over himself and groaned. He looked up and watched Kris follow his fingers as he stroked his hand up and down himself a few times. 

Kris licked his lips before he looked up and saw that Adam had been watching him. Adam would have thought that Kris would have blushed at being caught staring, but Kris just gave a soft grin before he let go of his right thigh to run the fingers of his right hand through the lube on his stomach. He sat up and reached for Adam’s erection, running lube slick fingers over the latex covered flesh. With a wicked grin Kris ran his fingers down the straining flesh to tease at Adam’s tight balls.

“Oh god, Kris!” Adam cried with an incredulous laugh as he knocked Kris’ hand away and moved up into the vee of Kris’ thighs. 

The bright smile that crossed Kris’ face made Adam smile right back at him. “Come on, Adam, I’m ready,” Kris said, letting his left leg go to wrap his legs back around Adam, Adam helping him get them situated before he ran a hand over Kris’ hip.

Taking his own cock in hand, Adam teased Kris’ opening with the tip before he began to slowly push inside. Kris tossed his head back in a sharp motion, his thighs quivering against Adam’s waist as the thick length of Adam pushed inside of him. Adam could feel Kris’ inner muscles ripple around him as he paused, only an inch or so inside of Kris. He ran a hand up and down the center of Kris’ chest, “Let me know when you are ready.”

Kris breathed deeply for a few seconds before he groaned, his body slowly relaxing against Adam’s again. “You are huge. Shit,” he gasped as his relaxing muscles let Adam sink in a little bit more. “Okay, okay... I’m ready.”

Adam nodded absently before he pushed all the way inside of Kris, not pausing until he was flush against him. Kris was keening underneath him, his cock red and straining, his stoma ch now covered in his own pre-come from his leaking cock. Adam took a quick breath before he tightly gripped both of Kris’ hips in his hands before he began to slide back. Not even halfway out he thrust sharply back into Kris, the motion making Kris shout. Kris’ hands flew up to grab at Adam’s shoulders, as Adam began a harsh, deep rhythm inside of Kris. Swiveling his hips, Adam changed the angle of his thrusts and knew he had hit Kris’ prostate when the younger man’s back bowed into an arch, his body moving back into Adam’s thrusts.

Each thrust was kept at that angle to hit Kris’ sweet spot, making him cry out in pleasure and writhe against Adam. All of Kris’ inhibitions seemed to disappear as Adam continued to pound into him, his thrusts becoming harder and harder as Kris continued to moan and shake. Still thrusting deeply into Kris, Adam leaned forward and caught Kris’ lips in a messy kiss. They were panting against each other’s mouths, Ad am’s sweat dripping off of his face and on to Kris. Kris tightened his thighs around Adam and moaned. 

“Adam, please. Please!” Kris moaned and shook as Adam slowed his thrusts down to a less frantic pace.

“Oh baby,” Adam said, licking into Kris’ mouth, tongue chasing Kris’ for a moment before he pulled back. “You feel so good inside. I could stay inside you for hours. For days.”

“Adam!” Kris shouted, his eyes screwing closed in pleasure. 

Husking out a laugh, Adam began to move sharply inside of Kris again, his thrusts becoming faster and harder. He let go of Kris’ left hip to snake his right hand between their bodies to wrap around Kris’ leaking cock. Kris shuddered as Adam began to stroke Kris in time with his thrusts inside of him. It didn’t take but a few more deep thrusts of Adam’s hips and strokes of his hand over Kris’ cock before Kris froze, his body arching in pleasure as he came in hot spurts over Ad am’s hand and onto his stomach and chest. His body stayed arched in pleasure as Adam continued to thrust into him, his inner muscles milking Adam’s cock as he worked him through his orgasm. When the last of his come dribbled out, Kris’ body collapsed back down onto the bed. 

The hand sticky with come left Kris’ cock to grip his hip again as Adam tilted his lax body and began a harsh rhythm into the spent man. Kris blinked bleary eyes up at Adam and moaned as his body was jarred with the thrusting. He raised a trembling and weak hand to touch the side of Adam’s face but gave a sharp moan as Adam thrust into him again and again. Adam knew he was hitting Kris’ sensitive prostate and he felt a sharp satisfaction as he saw Kris’ spent cock twitch with each thrust. 

“Adam,” Kris cried out, his body trembling in what Adam knew had to be pained pleasure. With a final thrust and groan Adam felt himself lose control and begin to come in spine ting ling bursts. His thrusts tapered off before finally stopping, his whole body shaking in the aftermath. 

Adam bussed a soft kiss against Kris’ temple, the exhausted man barely giving a grumble as Adam reached down, holding the base of the condom, and slid out of his body. He quickly pulled the come filled condom from his softening erection and tied it off, tossing it into the trash beside the bed. Slipping from the bed, Adam went into the bathroom and ran the water in the sink to warm as he went in search of a clean washcloth. He wet his own washcloth and quickly wiped himself down with the lukewarm water, cleaning the lube and come from his body. By the time he had finished cleaning himself the water was warm, almost hot, and he tossed his washcloth into the shower before picking up the clean one and running it under the water. Squeezing out the excess water, he turned the faucet off and came back to the bed where Kris was splayed out. 

Gently he ran th e washcloth over Kris’s skin, starting with his face, bathing his forehead before moving down his chest, cleaning the soft skin of sweat, lube, and come. Kris arched into the movement of the cloth as Adam cleaned him. When Adam ran the cloth over his cock and balls he moaned and shifted slightly away. Adam chuckled before he moved the cloth to wipe over Kris’ thighs and then his opening, those motions Kris actually moved into with a moan, the ministrations obviously feeling good. 

Tossing the soiled washcloth towards the bathroom, Adam turned off the lights in the room before getting into the bed and pulling the covers over him and Kris. Adam gathered Kris into his arms, spooning in behind him, his arm tight around Kris chest and legs tangled together. He sighed and let his eyes drift closed as he kissed the nape of Kris’ neck, sleep tugging at him.

Adam was almost asleep when he heard a soft whisper from Kris, “I think I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you, but you only ever saw Brad. Now you see me and I wish it was because you weren’t settling on the closest thing to what you have always wanted but couldn’t have.” After the declaration Kris sank even farther into relaxation and sleep. It took Adam much longer to relax again into sleep. 

When Adam woke the next morning though, it was to his phone ringing with Tommy’s ringtone and Kris gone. The only real indication that he had been there was a piece of paper with a heart scribbled on it and left on the pillow next to Adam.

  


Katy wasn’t at her desk when Adam arrived at Kris’ office. He had quickly showered and dressed once he realized Kris was gone from his bed, and began to search for him. The main house was quiet as he searched, most people still in bed recovering from the night before -- Adam could even hear a few pained moans from the hangovers, plus one that was definitely not from pain. That one had come from Brad’s room and it only made him smile. With Kris not in the main house or anywhere on the grounds that Adam could think of, he made his way into the city.

Acting bolder than he felt, Adam pushed open the doors to Kris’s office, “Kris? Are you here?” The office was just as empty as the rest of the building, Saturday after Christmas as it was. Nothing was different or out of place from the last time Adam had visited t he office. 

“Fuck,” he muttered as he slumped down onto the couch. As he rubbed his has hands over his face, breath escaping harshly, he saw an envelope on the low table in front of the couch. “You’re new,” he said while sitting up and reaching for the envelope.

It was a plane ticket. One way, Dallas to LA, in Brad’s name and he just knew that Kris was trying to do something stupid. 

“He’s been in love with you since he was sixteen and just figuring out that boys were pretty too,” Katy said from the doorway.

Adam gave a self-deprecating laugh, “So I’m learning.” He turned to look up at her, “Where is he?”

Katy moved into the room and sat down next to Adam, her hand plucking the ticket out of his hands. As she turned it over, playing with the flap to the envelope, she began to talk. “We dated for a bit, you know?” Adam only shook his head in reply and Katy laughed softly, “It was in high school, just bef ore his dad and Sandra got married. When he moved out here we tried staying together, tried long distance, but we weren’t even 16. It wasn’t going to really work, and by then, he had met you.

“Whenever we talked, you were all he could talk about. I mean, it really was Adam this and Adam that. Adam said this, Adam did that.” She smiled at him, “You are kinda hard to compete with.” At his wide eyed look, Katy reached out and laid her hand over top his, “Adam, he even went out to LA to see you perform when Neil told him about your shows.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, “I know. He said he came to one.”

Katy laugh, “One? More like fifteen! He would make any excuse he could to fly out to LA, as long as it was during a weekend you were performing.”

They sat in silence for a moment as Adam absorbed what Katy had told him. Kris really did love him, enough to try and give him something that he didn’t want anymore. And if Adam was b eing honest with himself, probably never really did want. Brad had become the unattainable goal, something to strive for, even if he knew that he never actually wanted it to happen. Because, if Adam really did want Brad, he would have never kissed Kris that first night back. He would have never kept Kris’ letter and read it every moment he knew he needed to know someone cared. All the boys, they would have been measured against Brad, but in the end, they were really measured against Kris. And oh, did they ever come up wanting.

“Katy,” Adam squeezed her fingers, “I need you to change the name on this ticket.” He flicked the ticket in her other hand. “It’s time for me to go after what I actually want.” 

She grinned up at him and pulled him into a hug, “On it. Oh, and try the lily pond, it is a favorite place of his.”

  


“You know,” Adam said as he saw Kris sitting at the edge of the lily pond, fingers dipping in the water, “Your secretary is a pistol.”

Kris laughed as he drew himself up to stand. “Yeah, but you have to love her.”

Adam nodded, “Yeah, you kinda do.” 

They stood facing each other before Adam’s face broke into a soft smile. He reached his hand out and took Kris’ in his own, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Kris squeezed Adam’s fingers.

With a soft tug, Adam pulled Kris towards the bench, “Sit with me for a bit. We didn’t get to talk this morning.”

As they sat, Kris rubbed his free hand over the back of his head, “I’m sorry about that. I had some last minute details that came up.”

“That!” Adam exclaimed, “That is one of the things we need to talk about, Kris! Yo u working so much and doing something that you really don’t love. You should be making music and not tied to the machine that is Allen Enterprises. Kris,” Adam practically whined, “You should be in LA. With me.”

“I know,” Kris said, a sheepish smile crossing his face.

Adam looked startled, “You... you know?” He blinked, confusion clear on his face, “How...I mean... what?” 

“Well,” Kris started while letting his fingers play with the rings on the hand Adam had wrapped around his. “Well, so... After that lunch we had, the one where we got Ethiopian... I, uh, I realized that you were right. I mean, I already knew that I wasn’t happy where I was and that I wanted to be making music instead, but I had gotten so caught up in thinking that I had to be the one to take over. And well, it got me thinking---What if Daniel actually did want to do something and me just jumping in and over him never gave him the chance?

“So, I asked. And would you believe it, he actually wants to do it? He wants to help Dad run Allen Enterprises. All this time,” Kris shook his head ruefully, “if he had just spoken up... I wasted so much time Adam, trying to be something I wasn’t.” Kris was quiet for a moment before he shook his head to clear his thoughts, “Anyway, I’ve been spending the last few days transferring everything over to Daniel and getting him ready to pick up where I left off. He actually has some really great ideas that will really grow the company.”

Adam smiled at Kris, “What do you plan on doing?”

A blush spread across Kris’ face. “Well, I’m hoping I can do one thing, but it kinda depends on you.”

The blush brought back memories from the night before and Adam could feel himself hardening at the thoughts. “What about me?” Adam asked, his voice dropping to the bottom of his register.

Kris’ face turned a darker red, “Adam...” He turne d his face down, looking away from Adam.

Adam lifted his free hand and crooked his finger underneath Kris’ chin, bringing his face back up to look at him. “Does it depend on me loving you, because I already do. I have for a while now, I just hadn’t realized it yet.”

Tears began to fill Kris’ brown eyes, “You do?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, his thumb coming up to rub a tear that had escaped down Kris’ cheek away, “I really do. Come to LA with me. Katy is-”

“Has changed the ticket to my name,” Kris interrupted. “She called me.”

Adam had to laugh, “Of course she did. That girl loves you a lot.” He looked at Kris, his thumb still stroking across his cheek. “So, you’ll come?”

“Yes, I’ll come to LA with you,” Kris said, his face shining with happiness.

The kiss the two of them shared was sweet and rather chaste, but for all the passion that they obviously had for one another, neither of them needed for it to be anything more than what it was. A declaration.

“I love you, too,” Kris whispered against Adam’s lips as they held one another. Adam smiled into the kiss and pulled Kris tighter to him.

  


_Epilogue, 2009, New Year’s Eve_

“Okay,” Adam shouted over the loud music the club was playing, “Introductions! Kris, before you we have Terrance, Sasha, Ashley, Alisan, Lee, Sutan, Scarlett, Tommy, and Danielle. The last two you met at the apartment. Everyone, this is Kris, my boyfriend! Play nice with him, I don’t want him broken.”

Everyone laughed and began to talk. Kris was quickly pulled into a conversation with Tommy about music as Adam was drawn into a debate between Alisan and Danielle about something he didn’t really want to know about. Ashley soon came over to Kris and Tommy, adding a few comments here and there about specific guitars that they were debating over.

Since Christmas, Kris had been working on fully transferring everything he was doing to Daniel and a few other manage rs until Daniel could take the full load. Daniel was picking up on things really quickly when Kris and Adam had to fly to LA. Kris wasn’t moving out there right away, but he was staying for a few weeks to start looking for a job and to begin shopping his demos around. That and it was a chance for him to spend time with Adam and for Adam to show him his LA. 

_Kris had been packing his bags back in Dallas when a soft knock had interrupted his folding. When he looked up he saw his step-brother hovering in the doorway. The raised brow he gave Brad made the other man snort and flounce in the room and sit on the edge of the bed, making the suitcase on it wobble._

_Brad took a shirt from the pile and began to fold it, “Did you ever wonder why I never made a move on Adam that summer when I always knew he was interested?”_

_The shirt that Kris had been folding was put down as he turned to look at Brad fully, “I never really thought about it. I guess I thought you weren’t interested in him.”_

_“Oh, I would have dated him in a heartbeat, even before he changed his look,” Brad said, unfolding and refolding the shirt._

_“Then why didn’t you?” Kris asked, his heart beating faster._

_“Because,” Brad said, the shirt dropping as he turned and looked at Kris, “Because I saw the look on your face when you first met him and every other time you saw or talked to him over that summer. I had been thinking about asking him out, but then I knew it would never be close to what you and he would have. Kris, you two are perfect for one another. But that doesn’t mean I won’t beat one of you up if either of you guys hurt the other.” At Kris’ incredulous look he sighed, “Fine, I’ll get Sean to beat on you!”_

_Kris laughed and threw his arms around his step-brother, Brad returning the hug just a fiercely. “You are an awesome brother.”_

_Brad gave a watery laugh, “And don’t you forget it! Now, let’s get you packed!”_

The festivities at Freddies were raucous and loud, Kris had to escape outside to the back patio close to midnight, his ears ringing. He leaned against the railing and took a deep breath of air, calming his mind from the stimulation of the party. Familiar warm arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him against a firm chest.

“I thought I had lost you,” Adam said quietly in his ear as he nuzzled against the sensitive skin.

“Nope,” Kris said as he brought his hands up to grip Adam’s forearms, “Just trying to not kill my ears.” 

They stayed quietly wrapped together for a while when the countdown inside began. Neither moved as the partiers got louder and louder with their shouting. When they reached one and began shouting “Happy New Year!” Adam just pulled Kris tighter against him.

“Happy New Year, Adam,” Kris said, tilting his head back to look up at him.

Adam smiled down at Kris and leaned forward, laying a lin gering kiss on Kris’ lips, “Happy New year, baby.”

  



End file.
